How we came to be
by Nashra
Summary: What do you do when you find out that your bestest friend is destroying himself? Break down and cry?...probable. Leave it be?... unlikely. Stand up and do something about it?...Bingo
1. Secret

Disclaimer: Beyblade is created by Aoki Takao, I am just borrowing his characters, mostly Kai, for this fanfiction.  
Faith and other OC's however, were created by me.

Chapter 1

It was the middle of June. The Bladebreakers had settled themselves in a town not far from New York. It was a modest house, but affordable and very private, just as they liked it. A couple of years ago, Kai had gone on a rescue mission' to get his two best friends out of the hell they were in. He had come back with a girl round his age. The boy, they learned later, had died months before he had left for Russia. Though she had never given the cause of his death, and Kai never asked.

This girl had been friends with Kai for a long time, and it showed in the way they behaved towards each other. When alone, he was the cold, heartless leader everyone thought he was, and she was, according to Tyson, an icy bitch. But when together, the team saw Kai smile his rare smiles, emotion just a little evident in his eyes, and the girl talked a lot more around him. As the weeks passed they got to know her as well as they could.

Her name was Faith, her eyes changed colour when her mood changed, she was as old as Kai, had known him for a very long time and that was all she let loose. It turned out her shell was twice as hard to break. Days went by like a breeze and the Bladebreakers were starting to prepare themselves for a new tournament. And that's when it all began.

Faith showed up in the common room, where the whole gang was watching TV.

"Hey guys, have you seen Kai? I've been looking for him since dinner."

Everybody shook their head. Her eyes started to go brown, evidence that she was starting to worry. Kai's strange behaviour had started to escalate in the past few weeks. He hardly ever showed his face anymore, except when there was training or dinner.

He started to wear long sleeve shirts and he was even colder to his team than before. Even Faith had trouble getting him to talk. And in one of the rare moments she could still talk with him, there was certain dreaminess in his voice and his eyes looked like his mind had taken a long holiday. It all looked familiar in her eyes.

Faith thought back of Tala for a brief second and mentally slapped herself. No, Kai wouldn't, he's strong, way stronger than that, and how could she think so low of him? Faith didn't know if it was the small hope in her heart or the denial in her mind that was talking. She didn't know what she would do if she would be wrong.

She went up to his room again. The last time she had been there, there hadn't been any response after the knock. But since he was nowhere else, this was the last hiding place. A soft knock on the door. "Kai, you in there?" she could pick up the sounds of Kai cursing, something breaking, a drawer opening and closing. Faith tried to go inside and found the door closed. Little alarm bells went of in her head. Knocking a little louder she demanded entrance. After a few minutes he finally showed up, the expression of his face not happy.

"What you want? I'm busy"

"Kai let me in, I want to talk."

"We can talk right here Faith, so spill."

Her eyes started to turn amber. Since she had left the convent, it had started to get very hard for her to control her eye colour, so her emotions were very visible lately.

"Kai, let me in, or do you have something to hide?"

An evil smirk showed on Kai's face.

"I got nothing to hide, but you're missing something here Faith. This is my room, so it's also my decision to let someone in or not."

To say she was angry would be an understatement.

She hit Kai, which made him stumble backwards, giving Faith the opportunity to go in. not far from his bed she saw shattered glass. It wasn't a big amount, so it couldn't have been a drinking glass. She made her way towards it, but two hands grabbed her fiercely and turned her around.

"What the hell do you think you're doing? This is MY room, now get OUT."

Crimson met amber. And the tension was growing every second.

"Not unless you tell me what you're hiding. That's not a drinking glass you dropped, right?"

Her voice was calm, but everyone that knew her, heard the tone of blazing anger underneath that icy voice. He slapped her. They started fighting. Kai was winning and as he sat on top of her to give her the final punch, reality came back as he saw her condition.

Her lip was bleeding, so was her nose, a future black eye and some bruises were evident. Kai looked at his hands in disbelief; his knuckles had blood on them….her blood. He had hit her, the only one he had sworn to protect. Shock showed on his face and he crawled off her, only to stumble backwards to the bed. He looked at her.

"Oh my god, Faith, I'm-I'm so sorry, I-I-I...I don't know what came over me, I just…I don't know."

For a while Faith didn't seem to move. Fear went through him, an emotion that hardly ever controlled him. He hadn't gone too far, did he? No, she wouldn't be dead. Sure, she bruises easily, but she's tough. It'll take more than a few punches to kill her. Kai moved back towards Faith. When he saw her eyes were open and her breathing was normal, he sighed in relief.

He didn't kill her.

He took her in his arms and sat her upright in his bed. He looked at her while putting back a few strands of her blond/blue hair.

"Faith, can you hear me? How many fingers am I holding? Faith?"

She groaned. This was definitely going to hurt tomorrow.

"Could you keep it down a little? I'm not deaf, no need to shout and you're holding up three. Just let me relax a little."

"I'm so sorry Faith, I didn't mean to…."

"Then what happened? And what is that glass on the floor? What are you hiding from me Kai? I thought we promised not to keep any secrets?"

Kai looked down, shame washed over him. She was right, ever since they first met; they had never kept any secrets from each other. And now he had been carrying one around for so long and hurt her while doing so. He felt her hand on his chin as she tried to make Kai look her in the eyes.

Kai, Kai, look at me…."

He looked up at her, seeing her eyes tinge with black. She was sad, though her voice stayed calm.

"Look, whatever it is, know that I'll be there for you. I'm sure that we can work it out."

"It's not that easy."

"It's only as hard as you make it."

Her eyes showed only truth and determination. He swallowed, hard. His voice now seeming to falter him he rolled up his sleeves and looked back at her. Her eyes went grey, fear evident in the gasp she had let out. No, this couldn't be, not him too.

In one of Kai's armpits were several needle marks. The glass on the floor had been a syringe once. As he saw no change in her shocked expression, he stood up. But before he could turn she had thrown herself in his arms. He couldn't see her face, since she had buried it deep in his chest, but he could feel her body shaking: she was crying. They stood like that for a while until her black eyes looked up to him.

"How long have you been on that shit?"

"Not long."

"Why?"

"Life isn't that great ya know. All the pressure of being captain of the best team in the world. It puts a lot of stress….."

"Stop lying"

"What?"

"C'mon Kai, you really think I'd believe that crappy story of yours? We've both been through a whole lot of shit together. I'm not one of your team mates; I know what you have seen. Don't go shitting me bout pressure."

"Why do you want to know so badly?"

"Because if I lose a friend to that shit again, I definitely want to know what made him start."

Kai frowned.

"Again? You mean Tala…"

"Yes, Tala was on that shit too, but I didn't find out until it was too late. I don't want to lose you to it too Kai. I don't know what I'd do without the both of you. Please don't leave me."

She had started sobbing again. Old memories of how she found Tala had come back to her. She couldn't stand the thought of waking up and finding Kai that way. Kai took her in his arms, stroking her hair softly. He started thinking long and hard. What made him start to begin with? What had been the cause of it all?

"I don't exactly know why, but I think it had a lot to do with the letter I got weeks ago. It was from Boris, and it was bout how he was going to hurt and kill you if he ever saw you on the tournament. How he would take you away from me, to a place where I couldn't help you. And I- I got scared. I don't want to lose you, but I didn't wish to scare you either. I thought drugs could take away that worry, that fear. I guess I'm a weakling.

"No you're not. Every one has a moment that they only see one option. I had it too once. Not long after Tala died. But every time I even tried to take that needle, I saw Tala again, and what happened to him. That was the only thing that stopped me Kai. You didn't have that, all you had, was fear. Now where is that letter?"

He walked to his nightstand and handed the letter to her. Without even reading she just ripped everything in a million pieces. She looked him straight in the eye, eyes tinted green in determination.

"I'm not scared anymore Kai. From the moment you got me out of there till the day I die, I'll never fear him and his army of clones anymore. I'm safe now, safe with you, and he cannot scare me anymore. But it seems like he still has you in his grasp."

"Will you help me?"


	2. Warning

Chapter 2

Faith looked at him. For the first in a long time his eyes seemed clear again.

"With what Kai?"

"With my-my problem. I never intended to keep doing it, but it-it just felt so good. Every time I used, it felt like I could handle everything they did to me. I never saw any harm. But now…" he looked at her face, where the black eye had started to show already, "I hit you, I hurt you. The one person I care for the most. I don't want that to happen anymore. I want to quit Faith, but I don't know how. And even if I did I don't think I could do it alone. Will you help?"

Doubt was evident on her face. How was she supposed to help him? She hadn't been able to help Tala.

"Kai, I don't know if I can. I don't know how."

"Me neither. But you said we could work it out, remember?"

"I did, but…" she saw the silent plea in the eyes of her friend "I'll have to do a lot of research, keep you on a short leash, and… we got to tell your team mates."

Kai sighed. He knew he had to tell them sooner or later, but he had preferred later. What would they think of him? Kai, fearless leader: a drug addict? He could already see the faces of disgust without any trouble. And what if it ever leaked out? They'd lose loads of fans, he would put a bad mark on the whole team. Not to mention all of the reporters who would have a field day when they found out.

He looked at Faith and for once he could not see how she felt. There was a wide range of colours in her eyes; it looked a lot like a small rainbow had appeared in them. Just like Kai, she was discussing inside herself. She had never helped an addict before; she had absolutely no idea what she was supposed to do. Sure, there was the Internet, but that could never prepare her for the real thing. But she would try. She would not give up her best friend without a fight.

As she came to her decision, Kai had made his. It would be worth it. He would try to get clean, for his team mates, for his health, for himself and for her. He had not forgotten the look of fear as he admitted his problem; he still heard every word of what she had said about Tala.

He would not be the cause of her suffering, not this time.

"When do we tell them?"

"Whenever you want Kai, but don't wait too long. They have been kept in the dark long enough. I'm surprised they haven't come for an explanation of your behaviour yet."

"Tomorrow, after training."

Faith nodded, but wanted one more thing before she left.

"Where do you hide your stuff?"

Kai opened one of his drawers and opened up the fake bottom. Without hesitation Faith went to get a box and dropped the whole content of the drawer in it. She gave a weak smile.

"I don't want that stuff anywhere near you anymore. It's going with the rest of the trash tomorrow. Kai, how badly do you depend on this shit?"

"Not much…I think."

She said her goodbye to Kai took the box with her and placed it on the curb. When she came back inside, 4 Bladebreakers were looking at her with questioning glances.

"What was in the box?"

"Nothing Max, just some old stuff I wanted to get rid of."

"How come we don't believe you?"

"Look Ray, if I see you snooping in that trash you're going to die a painful death. Don't you guys trust me? There was nothing important in that box. Now if you'll excuse me, I got some stuff to do."

Without waiting for an answer she pushed past them and went upstairs. The Bladebreakers were left stunned.

"Great. First Kai, now her. You don't think it's some kind of disease do you?"

"Shut up Tyson, it's true, she is acting strange, but I think she's just hiding her worry over Kai."

Kenny had been chewing on his lip the entire time but now he couldn't stand it anymore.

"Guys, don't tell me none of you saw the state of her face?"

"What do you mean Kenny?"

Kenny smacked Tyson square across the face.

"Oh please, don't tell me you didn't see her split lip, the dried blood, and the massive bruises on her arms and face, not to mention the huge black eye?"

"Eum…. no." was the answer in unison. Kenny was about to give them all a rant when they heard Kai coming downstairs. Lately it was a strange and rare occasion that Kai came downstairs when there was no obligation too.

"Kai man, what happened, did you and Faith get in a fight?"

Tyson looked at him questioningly. Kai was sporting a swollen cheek and a cut eyebrow. If what Kenny had said was right, then he didn't need an answer, but still. It was quaint; they were the best of friends, why would they fight all of a sudden?

"Nothing severe Tyson, don't worry your empty little head about it. All will be explained tomorrow. I'm just here to get some water and then I'm off to bed, I'm a bit tired."

And he did just that, leaving his team mates stunned for yet a second time. Tyson broke the silence.

"Eum, is it me, or is there something going on?"

Meanwhile Faith was in the bathroom, looking at her face in the mirror, checking the damage. It seemed alright. A black eye, some bruises on her face and arms, and a cut lip, nothing serious. Just a minor headache from her tumble to the floor. She knew her muscles would ache in the morning, but that was nothing new. She'd been through worse in the convent. After washing the blood from her face and patching up her lip she left for her room.

Back in his room, Kai was thinking, replaying the whole scene in his head. He had fought with his best friend for a stupid reason. He had hit her with all his strength and she only defended herself. She was usually friendly, but if she was in a fight for her life, she could kill with her bare hands. She had let him hit her; she'd taken every single blow.

Not wanting to think about what could've happened if he hadn't realised what he had been doing. The blood was still on the floor and so was the broken glass that had started it. He got out a moist towel, cleaned the blood from the floor, gathered the shards and threw them in the trash.

He changed clothes and went to bed thinking _–I will tell them after the training. I owe them that much. - _But his sleep wasn't peaceful. In his dreams he was standing like a ghost in memories and visions.

"_I hope you will take this seriously, otherwise your future won't look pretty" _

_Kai jerked around. This wasn't real, this couldn't be real. -Of course it can't be real, you're dreaming you oaf. - His mind tried to reason with him. Before him stood a person he hadn't seen in years. A person that had been dead for so long_

"_Tala? What the hell? How is this possible?"_

"_Now, before you start thinking paranormal stuff I just want to say this. You are dreaming so this is a creation of your own mind." _

"_Why is my mind making you up?"_

"_Cause we found some very disturbing things that can happen if you keep this up."_

"_Huh?"_

_The dream Tala sighed. "Let me show you, turn around."_

_And they were looking at an alley where they heard a scream. A woman came running out of it, clothes ripped and crying. After the coast was clear, Kai saw his own head stick out of the alley, smug smirk on his face and counting money. So this was his future, he would rape and rob girls for money? Not long after he saw himself getting a shot. He was currently walking around high, heading towards the cemetery. Kai started to recognise certain places._

"_I don't get it, why am I back in Russia?"_

"_Keep watching. No questions."_

_And the other Kai had now stopped in front of two graves. He unzipped his fly and started pissing on both graves. When he left Kai could read the names._

_Here lies Tala Valkov_

_True friend, devoted blader_

_Died at the young age of 15_

_It was too soon_

_He looked back at his retreating form. Shock was written on his face, he had just relieved himself on the grave of his best friend? He looked at the other grave. Unlike Tala's this one had lots of flowers on it. This person had obviously touched a lot of people. He kneeled to read the name on the headstone. The shock passed to terror._

_Here lies Faith Delare_

_Caring, gentle and sweet_

_Touched the heart of everyone_ _she met._

_She will surely be missed._

_Died not long before her 20th birthday._

_We hope she is happy again with her family._

_Kai screamed. He couldn't believe this, he wouldn't. This could not be his future. Faith would not die that soon. Kai would not become the person he had seen. _

"_Why are you showing me these lies?"_

"_Not lies Kai. This is what will happen if you do not take your decision to quit seriously. You see, in this 'future', she tried to save you. But on one day you went berserk. Faith landed in a coma. She fought long and hard for her life, but she lost."_

"_No, no, this will NOT happen. DO YOU HEAR ME? THIS WILL NOT HAPPEN!"_

"NOOOOOO"

Kai shot up from his bed, sweating. He opened his eyes. Tala, the pictures, all was gone. He scanned around the place and found Faith standing in the doorway, looking very worried. Raking a hand through his hair he just asked one simple question.

"What are you doing up?"


	3. Stay with me

Chapter 3

Faith quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Me? I'm not the one screaming the whole house awake. But anyway, to be my informative self, I just went out to get me some water when I heard you screaming."

Worry seemed to shine through her look

"Are you ok, Kai? From the sound of you, it was like you were going to be abducted by aliens or something."

"Nah, I'm ok, just a bad dream that's all, nothing to worry bout."

She went into his room further, setting the glass of water on his nightstand. She set herself on the side of his bed and stroked her hand across his cheek. His skin was hot and sweaty and she wasn't reassured.

"You sure you're ok? It feels like you're either getting a fever or had a really bad dream. Don't keep anymore secrets from me Kai; you know I can't stand it."

He looked at her, the bruises of their earlier fight had darkened, and certain weariness was evident in her eyes. On closer inspection, her entire figure seemed to be tired.

"I'm fine Faith, trust me. But are you alright? You look tired. Have you had any sleep?"

Thinking back to the first couple of weeks she had been here, Kai was now worried about her.

It hadn't been pretty. Every night that she went to bed she woke up screaming, bathing in cold sweat. She never bothered Kai with it, but he could hear her screams. After a week her screaming stopped, but Faith was starting to get weaker till one day she had just collapsed when they were training. The cause had been exhaustion; it didn't take long before Kai put two and two together. The reason Faith had stopped screaming was simply because she had stopped sleeping.

He confronted her, forced her to tell what she was so afraid of that she would give up sleep. She burst out in tears, falling into his arms because she didn't have any strength left. It had taken an entire day, but he had gotten out everything that had bothered her. The nightmares that haunted her, the pain that almost felt real, the torture that she had endured; it all kept playing in her mind every time she went to bed. At the end of her story she had just fallen asleep in his arms and he didn't even think for a second to put her back in her own bed. He just carefully laid her down in his, pulled up the covers and fell asleep. Not long after she had started wailing softly. The wailing turned in to small yelps and eventually she woke up screaming again. But this time Kai was there; he just shook her softly and watched her realisation get through. She was not in the convent, she was free, and she was safe. They went to sleep again, but this time, Faith would not let go of Kai. She held him for dear life as she fell asleep. It had been the first time in weeks that she had a good night rest.

She smiled. "Yes mother, I had plenty of rest yesterday."

"I don't mean yesterday, I mean today, did you sleep?"

She looked around the room, glanced at the clock that had 3.30 blinking in a soft red.

"I've been busy Kai; sleep is not an option when you have research to do. If I want to be able to help you, I have to know what I'm supposed to be doing."

"You shouldn't give up your sleep for that. I'll be fine tomorrow. Don't overstress yourself ok? You know what the doctor said bout you and stress."

"You mean the shrink Max' mom hired to tell me that 'if I get to much stress on my poor little brain I will not be able to suppress my bad memories?' yes, I remember, don't understand why you hurl that at me again though."

A small smirk appeared on his face.

"Try and remember what happened about 12 years ago in the convent. I believe it had something to do with a certain blue/blonde running into the room of her best friends as if she was being chased by Voltaire himself. And that was just the first time it happened"

Her face faltered, and she raised her hands in defeat.

"Alright, alright I get it. I shouldn't have asked. But I have to tell you one thing mister-I-only-show-emotions-when-I-eat-curly-fries, I was like 7 and afraid of my own shadow. Could you blame me?"

"No, but I still remember that face of yours and it still cracks me up."

"Heeeeeeey, why you…" and she started tickling Kai. It was a sight for sore eyes. Kai Hiwatari, nominee for best death glare in history was now laughing as Faith tickled him all over. While she was doing it he remembered that first day she had come into the room Kai and Tala were forced to share.

_Light from the outside hall flooded into their room and both boys grunted. Great, was Boris cutting in their sleep now? As they rubbed the sleep out their eyes they saw a blur of blue and blond in the doorway. Tala was the first to speak up._

"_Faith? What are you doing here? Boris will kill you if he catches you out of bed at night."_

_She was now fidgeting with her sleeves and looking down to the ground. The unmistakable crimson colour could be detected from under her bangs._

"_I eum…I had a nightmare, do you mind if… I mean, could I, can I stay here tonight?"_

_The two boys looked at each other questioning. They couldn't see any signs of disapproval in the others look._

"_Sure, just give us a second."_

_And they got out of their beds, put them together and patted a spot in between them. She fell asleep not long after she had gotten into the bed and had whispered a short thank you. The two boys were looking at their little team mate with a small smile playing on their lips._

"_You know Kai, I don't mind it if she has a nightmare more often. It feels good keeping her safe. It's like she belongs here."_

_Kai couldn't do anything but agree, keeping her safe just felt right to him._

That had been the first but certainly not the last time she had been in there. To his disappointment he noticed she had stopped the assault and was now getting up and turning back towards the door.

"Anyways, since you're not getting abducted, threatened, severely injured or killed I'm going back to bed, night Kai."

He gripped her wrist. "Faith, wait. "She turned, looking at him questioning. "What's wrong Kai?"

He bit his lip and a silent plea could be seen in his eyes. He was fighting a blush as he stated his simple request. His team would never stop teasing him if they found out.

"Stay here tonight? Please"

"Excuse me?"

"I want you to stay here tonight. To know that you're safe, to know that you're not dead. Don't make me beg."

He lost all courage to look at her after that. The mattress shifted as she sat back down on the bed.

"What happened in your nightmare? Tell me about it Kai… it must've really spooked you if you want a living teddy bear."

It was nothing more than a comment to keep the conversation light and breezy for the time being. Knowing from experience how it felt to wake up screaming and alone, she had no intention of laughing at him. Soft whispers came out of Kais mouth and Faith listened intently to every word. The appearance of Tala, his future, what had happened, he spilled it all.

"I-I just want you near me, it's the only proof I can think of that it wasn't real."

"Will you give me the time to save my stuff and shut down the computer?"

"As long as you come back"

Going into the bedroom, she changed into some sleepwear, shut down the computer and went back to Kai. What he had told her had shocked her as well. She could not believe that Kai would ever become someone like that. Why was she doing this anyway? Kai had asked her to stay with him, of course, but this wasn't as evident as 12 years ago. For one thing they were both 19, so sleeping in the same bed was not as easy anymore. But on the other hand, Kai had been there every time she needed a shoulder, the least she could do was grant him a sleepover. When she entered his room Kai had already crawled under the covers and was holding them open for Faith to crawl in as well.

She mentally slapped herself a million times as she found her eyes wandering over her best friend's naked torso. _-He's your friend, he's your best friend, he's your absolutely hot naked best friend slap he would kill you if he ever found out. And he's starting to suspect something. Get in the bloody bed.-_

She quickly scooted under the covers, back turned to Kai so she wouldn't have to slap herself anymore. As Kai slid his arms around her and whispered thank you in her ear, she cursed her blushing form. After a good couple of minutes they finally fell asleep, both of them having a quiet and peaceful night. That was a rare occasion.

A door creaked as it opened. Faith groaned as she was woken up by something_. –this must be the first time I had such a good sleep. Well except for the time they drugged me at the hospital. Now what happened? Oh yeah, the door creaking. - _She rubbed her eyes sleepily and vaguely became aware of the remaining Bladebreakers standing in the doorway. _–Great what do they want from me now, Bad enough they come into my room every minute of the afternoon, but now in the morn….ing-_ it suddenly hit her. This wasn't her room. Her senses kicked in fully and she could feel someone nuzzled against her_. –Oh shit, shit, shit, I forgot, Kai asked me to stay with him yesterday. Damn you sleeping brains.-_

She looked at them and saw looks of shock and horror written on the face of Tyson, Kenny and Max. Ray just looked at her with a big smile on his face. Her attempt to glare failed miserably because she was blushing like mad. How could they think about her and Kai this way? They were the best of friends; they would never share a bed in that way. _–But you'd like it if you did, wouldn't you? Remember the thoughts when you saw him yesterday? Slap-_

"Guys, I know what it looks like…. But that is NOT what happened."

They all quirked their eyebrows and then looked at each other, seeing none of them believed her. The fact that he had held her even tighter when she attempted to sit up did not help her statement. Her whole mind just hoped he would wake up so no other embarrassing things like that would happen. She suddenly felt a stirring behind her. Kai opened his eyes and looked around. Morning already? In front of him was a mop of dual coloured hair. –Oh, right, she stayed here the whole night. He let go of her and propped himself up on one elbow, and the Bladebreakers came in sight.

Shock, fear, embarrassment and anger showed on his face. "What are you all doing in my room, without even knocking?"

"Well eum, you see Kai, heh, the thing is… you normally get up at 5.30 for training and it's now round 8.30. We didn't see you downstairs so we were worried. But I see you were busy last night, so how bout we reschedule training?"

"Max, you have 10 seconds to get out of this room. This goes for the rest of you as well."

"But Kai…"

"10……..9…….8…….7…….6"

Ray suddenly spoke up; he was about the only one that dared to go up against their team leader when said person was pissed off.

"Alright, alright, we're leaving. But I want a total explanation of what happened as soon as you guys are dressed, and don't you dare skip any juicy details."

Angered Kai chucked a pillow at Ray's head, but missed target as the Asian had already left and closed the door.


	4. Confessions

Chapter 4

Kai looked at Faith's back and from the way her muscles were tensing he could say that she was pretty pissed. He felt guilty. He was the one that had asked her to stay with him and now his team members were thinking wrong of them.

"Faith, I'm s…"

"The nerve of them, how can they fucking think that way? What gives them the right to think that we're more than friends 'cause we're lying in the same bed. How many times haven't we found Tyson and Kenny in the same position? And we all know that Tyson has the hots for Hilary…"

He softly put a hand on her shoulder. She turned and looked around in surprise.

"Faith, you're rambling. And never mind what they think. Just go get dressed and I'll meet you downstairs, alright?"

Nodding at him, she gave a reassuring squeeze in his hand and went towards her own room. As he looked at her retreating form he noticed she was wearing one of Tala's old shirts. She'd gotten that from their old friend when she decided that she'd been too old to keep running to them whenever she had a bad dream. Obviously she still believed that the trinket of a loved one chases dreams away.

Even though she had gotten that shirt years ago, it was still too wide for her. Tala had very broad shoulders, and the way it slipped made her look very …sensual… to say the least.

As his gaze went lower he noticed she was only wearing a pair of girlie boxers. He had to admit that it complemented her bottom half quite nicely.

It was his turn to mentally slap himself. _–for gods' sake man, what has gotten into you? She's your best friend. Ever since the convent. She'd kill you if she ever found out you just looked at her that way.-_ but a part that had liked Faith in his arms and that had just steered his gaze towards her countered that._ you're right she is your best friend, but what makes you think she doesn't want the same thing? Don't tell me you didn't see her blushing when she saw you in bed yesterday_

He was knocked out of his thoughts when he heard Faith call out his name. Directly he turned his gaze back towards her face. She had obviously asked a question.

"Huh?"

"I asked if you were alright. You look a little dazed."

"Oh, no, I mean, yeah, I'm alright. Just thinking."

"K, I'll call you when you can use the bathroom, ok?"

"Sure, gives me some time to wake up fully."

And with that she closed the door and left Kai alone in his room. What was he going to do? He had to figure out what to say bout him and Faith in the same bed, and secondly there was his "problem". How were his friends going to react?

-stop it, you went over this yesterday. They have the right to know. And if they decide to hate you, they're not really your friends.-

While thinking he fell into a light sleep again, till a knock disturbed it.

"Kai, you can use the shower now."

When Kai came down he saw Faith holding Tyson in a headlock, obviously not kidding, her face was set on kill mode. Around them stood the rest of the team, trying to pry her off Tyson. But what they didn't know was that she had a vice grip, and is never eager to let go. He let out a sharp whistle, which made everyone stop dead in their tracks.

"Could anyone here please tell me why Faith wants to kill our little airhead over there? And Faith, let go of him, we all know what a loudmouth he is, but he's not worth rotting in jail for."

Reluctantly Faith let go, quickly hissing a threat in Russian to the blue haired.

"I don't know. All I asked was if she had fun last night and then she launched at me all of a sudden."

"Serves you right I'd say. How many times do we have to tell you? Nothing happened, alright? Now just give it a rest."

"Then what did happen, and why are you both so secretive about it? If you two are together as a couple, you don't have to hide. But we'd appreciate some honesty…"

"I had a nightmare alright? I've been having them ever since I was in the convent. Tala and Kai used to be my living teddy bears when they got too ugly. I went to him yesterday because not even Tala's shirt could stop that one. You happy now? Satisfied your curiosity?"

And without another word Faith stormed off into the training room.

"Smart move Ray. Now you got her in the 'don't look at me or I'll kill you'- mode" for the rest of the day."

"Hey, you were the one that got her into it in the first place, I was just curious. If I'd known that that was the reason I would've just shut up."

"Look guys, just leave her alone ok? You all know the past is something neither of us likes to talk about. And to pry into reasons for us lying in the same bed isn't a smart thing to do. You all know how far her nightmares can drive her. Don't go prying no more; I don't want to carry her to the hospital again."

"We know, and we're sorry Kai. It's just that, you guys know more about each other than we do, and sometimes we don't really know how to act towards you guys. We know you had a rough past, but would it kill you to tell us a little bit more about it?"

"It wouldn't kill me, but it might get her nightmares back, and I don't want that happening. Now quit chatting, we got some training to do."

"But Kai…"

"End of discussion, or do you want to do some penalty push-ups?"

They made their way towards the training room quickly. While the rest of them were changing Kai moved towards the place Faith was sitting. Tyson was wrong, she wasn't pissed. She felt sad. She was always like that when someone was prying into her thoughts. That was one of the reasons he never asked for Tala's death. It just felt wrong when she was sad.

"Hey, you alright? Sorry, I should've been downstairs sooner. I know they can be very annoying. I should've never asked you to stay with me."

She placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Kai, you're rambling. I know how they can be, but that doesn't mean I won't get pissed on them."

She looked in his eyes meaningfully, but it all stopped when Hilary came to sit next to her. She had never really liked the brunette. Too nosy and too girlish in her opinion.

"Go, you got to train those guys, I'll be fine."

After the training the guys were patiently waiting in the training area because Kai had told them he had something important to say. They were looking at him expectantly. Seeing his difficulty Faith gave him a reassuring squeeze in his shoulders.

"K, here it goes. I got something important to say to you guys."

"You finally decided to tell us that you and Faith are together?"

"Tyson, one more wisecrack comment like that and you'll get a knuckle sandwich for dinner."

"Sorry"

"Eum, could you please listen? This is kind of hard for me. It might explain why I've been acting funny lately…" he looked at Faith and saw the bruises"… and why Faith and I look like we've fallen down the stairs. I don't know how to say this, so I'll show you."

And he slowly rolled up his sleeves, and found the ground more interesting than to see their looks of disgust. Faith however was looking at the whole group pissed and with her eyes she was daring anyone to laugh. Not that they had the intention of doing so.

"Well, this certainly explains why you're not showering together with us anymore."

Everyone was shocked, but there was a lot of understanding in Ray's voice. But Max who was looking at him with those puppy eyes was confused the most.

"Why? Why did you do it Kai? How long have you been doing it? Why didn't you tell us something sooner? Just tell us."

Just before Kai could answer, Tyson had launched himself on Faith and was ready to smack her.

"You knew didn't you? Why didn't you tell us? You fucking knew that your best friend was taking drugs and you never told us why? How the fuck could you keep going with the knowledge that your friend could die if you didn't stop him?"

His fist was descending towards her face and Faith made herself ready for impact. But it never came. Inches before her nose Kai had stopped Tyson's fist. When Faith opened her eyes she saw Tyson looking at him confused.

"She can't tell you if she doesn't know Tyson. I beat her half to death yesterday when she found out. That is the reason why she looks like that. Do you really think she would've let me continue on using if she had known earlier?"

Kai crouched down and glared at Tyson. The latter swallowed. Hard.

"Look here airhead; she's the reason why I told you guys. Now if you hate me 'cause I use drugs, and don't want me as a member of the team anymore then fine. But you dare to even think about hitting Faith again and I swear to god I'm going to hurt you very badly."

After a long and heavy silence Ray picked up the courage to speak.

"We don't want to know the whens and the hows Kai. We kind of started to suspect something when you stopped wearing those sleeveless shirts. But what we want to know is why. We're not disgusted by you. Not by a long shot. We only know so little of the life you had to lead in the abbey, but why start using so long after you escaped that hell?"

"Weeks ago I got a letter from Boris, threatening to take Faith away from me. I guess that was the final straw."

"Do you still have the letter?"

"No, I tore it to pieces when I asked him for it. But the reason why doesn't matter anymore. What matters now is that he is quitting and that he'll need your understanding and support to do so. I for one am not going to let him down."

She looked determined to them all, but Kai, who had known her a lot longer than the rest of them, saw doubt in her eyes. She had told him yesterday that she didn't know how to help him. But from what he saw now he knew that, even if she didn't know how to, she would always help him, no matter what.

"Well neither are we. You've always been part of our team Kai. You helped us through a lot of rough times, and even though you can be a rotten bastard at times we are going to stick with you. After all, if Faith can stand you, why can't we?"

It seemed like the first time that Tyson got away with saying something like that to Kai. He looked at them all with a lot of gratitude in his eyes. This was one of the rare moments that he showed he actually cared for them. But Kenny decided to ruin this moment with his logical way of thinking.

"Kai, I really appreciate it that you tell us this and all. But what are we going to do with the press conference in two weeks? I mean, if you're in rehab you're not exactly going to look fit and ready. We have to think bout the press as well."

"Don't worry bout that. We'll figure something out. Our biggest concern is getting Kai clean and keeping Faith safe."

"That sounds good in theory Ray, but how are we going to do it without the rest of the world getting suspicion?"


	5. Risks

Chapter 5 

"Change the date if Kai gets in the second phase before the conference."

"There are different stages?"

"Yes, the first one is the hardest one to go through. We'll need to be there for him, no matter what. "

"What exactly happens in that phase?"

"His emotional stability will falter. Knowing Kai he won't be breaking down in tears, but get angry for no apparent reason. Just do your best to not get in his hair, but stay near him for support, show him that you're not going to let him down."

"What happens afterwards?"

"Then the physical symptoms get worse. At first he'll just sweat a little more and have some problems keeping focused, but after phase 1 he'll start shaking a lot and he'll be sweating uncontrollably."

They talked until well past noon. Then operation 'get Kai clean' began. They never let him out of their sight. It went good for the first week, but after that Kai started to get a whole lot snappier and sensitive. He was now at the point where he'd hit you for eating the last cookie even though he didn't even like cookies. Everyone just tried to get out of his way as best as they could. And if they couldn't, Faith always seemed there to take the blow.

In the beginning she seemed to have a calming effect on the boy. But after a while not even she was able to stop the rage that welled up in him sometimes. Tyson was happily skipping in the living room and switched on a different channel when the next drift came. As the blue haired was laughing at whatever happened in the cartoon, a dark and gloomy voice sounded behind him.

"I was watching that."

Tyson yelped and jumped up from the couch as quick as he could. Behind it stood Kai, looking very pissed of and his mind obviously set on murder.

"Oh, hey Kai, I'm sorry, I didn't know… but how could you be watching it if you weren't here?"

He would regret saying that. But just as Kai launched at him, Faith came into the room and quickly did her math. Tyson had been the one that needed a shield the most. The rest actually knew to shut up against Kai. She slightly rubbed her ribs in the remembrance of the last time she had pushed Tyson out of the way.

"KAI STOP! Whatever it was, I'm sure it's not worth beating up Tyson for."

His fist stopped in mid-air and he looked at Faith very threatening. For the first time in her whole life, Faith was actually afraid of Kai. She had only seen that look on him once before, and that was when he had beaten a kid to death.

As he advanced on her she made just as much steps backwards. That sounded like a good idea in her mind until her back hit the wall. Before she could turn and run, Kai had already trapped her.

"Don't tell me what to do."

His hand had placed itself around her throat and now he was lifting her by it. She stayed perfectly still, trying to focus on her breathing.

"…Ever."

That anger in his eyes told her that it didn't look like he would stop anytime soon. His hand squeezed harder, cutting her breaths even shorter than they already were. Taking in some shallow breaths she tried to talk some reason into him.

"Kai, this isn't you. You're not yourself... let me go….and we'll talk."

"About what?"

She was reaching a panic state because she couldn't get air in her lungs fast enough. But she was trying her very best to hide it.

"About…whatever's…bothering…you…"

In the meanwhile Tyson had gotten the rest of the team and they were all trying to get Kai off Faith. They weren't really succeeding. Even Ray, who was about the same strength as him got thrown off. They still kept trying, begging him to let go of Faith.

"Why would you care?"

"Because…"

His grip tightened even more than anyone thought possible and before she knew it her hands were now frantically gripping the hold around her throat, hoping to loosen it a little. It was a bad idea to go panicking because it made her already shallow breaths take in less air.

"I'm listening."

Her consciousness was slipping and when the boys saw it, they tried harder. They knew very well that Kai wasn't really in control of his actions, but they would not risk getting Faith in the hospital for it.

"Kai, let go of her."

"Shut up. You can't tell me what to do. You WON'T tell me what to do."

He had turned to his assaulters for a second. He saw their faces of fear and then he looked back at Faith. He saw her futile attempts at loosening his grip, and the rapid up and down movement of her chest. He realised that she was in panic. Something that had never happened before. He could also see the pain in her eyes as she was clawing at his hands. Somewhere deep inside his conscious mind he liked her suffering. It was giving him a great amount of strength. The fact that her life was in his hands made him feel more powerful than ever. He could end her life now if he only squeezed a little harder.

"Because of WHAT?"

The last part was emphasised with a slight push on her throat. His mind had gotten lost in the madness and the power that consumed him. She could no longer recognize her old friend in the eyes that were now blazing with anger. Her hearing, touch and smell were being shut down to save a lot of time in getting what little oxygen she was getting, through her body.

"Because….you are…my … friend…I… care about….you."

Reason came back into the boy. The blaze in his eyes vanished and made way for fear. He let go of Faith immediately, making her fall to the ground without warning, and he looked at his hand as if it wasn't his. With one more look at Faiths body lying against the wall, he ran upstairs without a word. Kenny and Ray were perplexed, but Tyson and Max had already gone for Faith. As Max was supporting her head Tyson was checking for vital signs and consciousness.

"Kenny, go get some water."

It was the only thing Max could think of that would be of any use for when the girl woke up. But seeing Tyson's face, even that fact was insecure.

"Is she going to be alright?"

"I don't know. Her pulse is fast which means she's still alive, but it doesn't seem like she's breathing."

"And that means…?"

"I don't know, it can't be shock, but her lungs might have stopped functioning. It's also concerning me that she's not conscious. If she doesn't wake up soon she might get in a coma."

At that sentence Ray stormed off upstairs. Tyson lightly slapped the girl's cheeks, hoping that she would come to her senses again. But all of the reaction they got was that chest had started heaving visibly again.

What they didn't know is that she had been conscious for a while, if only barely. She had not reacted at the boys because she was not able to do so just yet. Her full mind and body were focusing on getting her breathing in a steady rhythm. Only when she had that back into her control, she would focus on getting her senses functioning again. She had learned this in the convent long ago. Who would've known she'd need it now.

After 10 minutes she allowed herself to open her eyes. When she did and had adapted to the massive flooding of light she saw Max and Tyson looking very relieved. And Kenny was standing somewhere in the background, she was sure of that. As she was carried to the nearby bench she looked at Max questioningly and tried to voice her question. But found that her voice seemed to be grating her throat. Max offered her the glass of water.

"Here, I thought you might need it."

Thankfully she took the glass and tried her voice again after a few shallow gulps. But she had no more need to ask, because the answer had already presented itself.

"Kai, open this goddamn door and face me. I swear to god I'm going to hurt you so badly if you don't."

Upon hearing this Faith made an attempt to get up. But as soon as her body had gotten in an upright position, the whole room started to turn around. She didn't stop but continued her path upstairs. Every step made her feel even dizzier, and the fact that her head and throat hurt a lot didn't help her. But the comments Ray was spewing at Kais door edged her on.

"Kai, if you don't open this door you will be sorry you were ever born."

"Somehow I don't think that will convince him to open it…do you?"

Ray turned and saw a very fatigue looking Faith clinging onto the stairs.

"Faith, you're alright, you shouldn't be here, and you should be resting."

"I think I am perfectly able of determining where I should or should not be thank you very much. Now you have two options: you can stand here banging on the door for another week and achieve nothing but painful hands and a dry throat, or you can go downstairs and let me handle this."

It was obvious that she had trouble speaking and Ray was considering, but when his gaze landed upon the red mark all over her neck he focused again.

"No, I can't leave you alone with him. Not after what happened. He might kill you next time."

"It's a risk I'm willing to take. Leave us. You don't know him half as well as I do, and I really think that shouting and being mad at him isn't the best solution. It wasn't even his fault."

"Funny, I remember it was him hanging you up by the throat. And you might know him better, but if you were totally honest with yourself, then you will admit that you had never expected that to happen. Not from him."

Despite her headache she glared at Ray. He was right at some points, but that didn't mean that she had to like it. It was true; she hadn't expected Kai to nearly strangle her. But a large part of her knew that it hadn't been Kai in control when it happened. People have done worse things while in his condition.

"Ray. Leave now or face my wrath as soon as I get better."

The amber in her eyes and the tone of malice in her voice were hard to miss and Ray made a quick leave. Faith made a few wobbly steps towards the door of her best friend and ended up looking for support against the doorframe. A soft knock on the door was all she could manage.

"Kai, let me in, let's talk. We need to talk."

There was no answer and Ray, who had chosen to protect her from the stairs, felt his anger boiling again. He didn't understand why she still put up with the shit that Kai put her through. This had been the millionth time that she had gotten hurt by Kai and she still hadn't retaliated. He just didn't understand why. Every time Kai fought her she seemed to go defenceless. Much more time to think about it he didn't have for a loud cry came from behind the door.

"NO, leave me alone."

Ray felt like barging in the room and finally putting that Hiwatari prick in his place for once. He liked the guy, but his behaviour from the past few weeks had to come to an end before people actually died.


	6. Regret

Chapter 6

Though no one could see it, Faith was looking tenderly at the door. Her eyes had gotten a mix of brown, black, blue and green and there was no telling which colour overruled the others. Ray thought the comment had been made out of hate, but she had known that voice for too long.

He was scared.

As strange as it may seem Kai had been afraid ever since he fully realised what he had been doing. He had yelled to keep her out, a simple act that was effective on most, but he had forgotten one thing: she knew him.

You could beat her into a hospital and she would still return to you, because…well, he didn't know why. He had nearly killed her and now she was knocking on the door asking for entrance. She didn't seem afraid at all. He had wanted to open the door and let Ray beat him, but now he didn't even dare to move. What if that horrible thing inside of him woke up again? What if he wouldn't be able to stop himself this time?

"Kai let me in, we need to talk."

"NO, we don't, stay the hell away from me!"

She sighed –_You never leave me any choice do you.-_

Pulling out a key from her pocket she clutched the side of the door for support. She knew that her body needed rest, but at the moment Kai's state of mind came first The key had been made with Kai's approval after they had found out his 'secret', but that didn't mean that she had ever wanted to use it. Before she could put it in the keyhole the whole door started to turn and she dropped the key in the moment of weakness. When she was about to pick it up she found that it was gone.

"Ray, I swear that if you don't give me the key I'll..."

"You'll what Faith? You can barely stand, let alone defend yourself. I can't let you do this. It would be like throwing you unarmed into a cage full of lions. What if he attacks you again? How will you defend yourself?"

"Who says I will need defending?"

Ray gave her a stern look. When it came to Kai she was always so stubborn, she couldn't see him for what he really was. A frozen heart that only used her when it fitted him. Around him she's like a puppy. You can beat it as much as you like and it'll still come and lick your hands. He sighed.

"He's attacked you once, he will do it again. I know him."

Her eyes were narrowing and started to turn crimson. She couldn't believe it. He was just Kais team mate for what…7 years, maybe less? If he believed that he knew Kai better than her, he was seriously wrong.

"You…know…him?"

"After being with him for 5 years, yes, I know him."

"O…really? Well then let's see. How much do you really know? What's his birthday? Don't know? K, then, what's his favourite food? Don't know that one neither? Well then, let me give you an easy one. What his most precious possession?"

Ray just looked at her stumped

"Thought so… 5 years is nothing compared to 12, and definitely not when the first 7 of them were during the worst years of his life. You weren't there. You have no idea what he feels. And another…"

At that moment she lost balance and had to fall back on the door for support. Not only was she dizzy but she had a raging headache sporting. Rays anger turned into worry as he reached out for her. "Oh god, Faith are you alright?" She slapped away his hand and pulled herself up again. She took a few more shallow breaths to regain her balance.

"And another thing. You have no idea what he's been through, you think you know him, but you don't know anything. Stop pretending you do." After that she snatched the key and slammed the door in his face. She had to lean against the other side of the door to gain balance once more.

In the hallway Ray was looking at the door shocked. He didn't get it. All he did was look out for her. He was worried; the red mark around her neck was blazing. Whatever it was that Kai and Faith had been through, neither liked to talked about it. And yet they always expected the others to understand when they are in one of their dark moods. No matter what happened, they would always protect each other and that would be the only time they stopped hiding the fact that they were more than team mates. Back in Kai's room Faith was finally able to focus her gaze again. She then saw Kai sitting in a corner, body moving up and down like he was throwing a mantra. The image shocked her to say the least

"Kai, are you ok?"

"Go away, leave me alone. Don't come any closer."

Not that his words had any effect on her. She just closed the distance between them and then stood in front of Kai, who hadn't looked up. During the short trip he kept threatening, swearing at her and also promised she would regret it if she came any closer. Funny how things can be threatening to some and nothing but hollow words to others. The only thing that had caught her off guard was his state of mind. She had never seen him so, well, vulnerable. He was always the well composed, never the one to break down. Kneeling next to him she placed a hand on his shoulder. But as soon as it had been placed there it was shook off.

"Don't"

And only now he looked at her with his crimson eyes. He was trying hard to glare, but it wasn't working. The sadness and fear in his eyes was too obvious to miss.

"Why not?"

Once again he averted his gaze. She saw his eyes focussing and un-focussing as if he was trying to find the proper words, or ashamed to face her.

"I might hurt you again."

She silently whispered his name and drew him into a hug. This was one of the rare moments that they both allowed their masks to shatter. In each others arms they felt safe to do so. Kai and Faith shared many secrets, but only surrounded by nothingness was where they were able to tell them. They didn't fear the dark, for when you are unseen you do not have to be ashamed of what you do. In the dark you are alone, and free to spill whatever problems you have to the shadows that are eager to listen. They had gotten so close that, for each other, they were as a shadow in the dark. Unseen, her eyes coloured that same mixture as earlier that day. She still had a nasty headache that wouldn't be willed away, but right now it didn't seem to matter much.

A warm and wet substance was felt in the hollow of her neck. Kay was…crying. This had to be the first time in her life that she had ever seen him cry. Of course he was still overemotional from the rehab, but it was still surprising. It seemed like his emotions had gone into overdrive today. She placed a hand on the back of his head and slowly started to cradle him like a mother would do when her child got hurt. It took a while, but Kai returned the embrace eventually. It was only when he placed his warm hands around her body that she noticed she was cold. That was usually a bad omen.

In between soft sobs he let out a strangled sentence.

"I hurt you Faith, I nearly killed you. How can you still forgive me?"


	7. So cold

Chapter 7

He looked at her desperately. It had been troubling him for quite a while now, but he needed to know. What about him made her so eager to forgive him, no matter what he did. Even after killing her brother she still came back. Was it because they had been through some rough stuff together and she felt the need to be like a mother to him? Or was it just because she pitied him?

"I can forgive you because it wasn't your fault. You're not in control of yourself right now."

He hn'ed. He had heard that reason before. She hadn't been right then, and she most certainly wasn't now. But she still tried to reason with him and started stroking his hair softly. Absently he loved it when she did that, it made him feel like he was wanted. Like someone actually cared about him. He had stopped doing that a long time ago. Because everyone he cared about and sometimes dared to love ended up getting hurt. Boris and Voltaire always made sure of that. Faith could never care for him. Not after what he had done to her. He was almost sure that she only pitied him and felt like she needed to be there to him. Yeah that was it. She was there out of pity. He ignored the sudden pain in his heart when he thought that.

"He's right you know."

It was enough to get Faith out of her own thoughts and cast a sideways glance of confusion in his direction. She wasn't in the condition to think clearly. She was focussing on willing her headache away and not shivering at the same time.

"I could've launched at you again."

"Nonsense"

"You don't know Faith. You don't know what I was thinking when you were hanging there, gasping for breath."

He paused for a moment hoping to find a very easy way to say it. He could see the look of confusion growing on her face. When she was about to ask the question he knew was on her mind, he spoke again.

"I-I-I liked it. I liked seeing you suffer. It gave me the intense feeling of power. It felt like I was in control of the world. I wanted to kill you."

The last was said in a tone no louder than a whisper, but the pain, fear and sadness could still be clearly heard in it. The streaking in his hair had stopped and silently Kai hoped that she would continue that sign of affection, but knew that any kind of friendship he had with the girl were more than ruined. He had just confessed that he had wanted to kill her. People start to hate each other for less. He dared to cast a glance from his safe spot against her neck.

She seemed to be frozen. Mouth hanging open like she was trying to speak. Colours like a thousand rainbows passed in her eyes. Shades of black, purple, brown and grey passed most, and some colours Kai hadn't even seen yet.

It was more than obvious that his statement had shocked her. How many times would anyone hear that his or her best friend had liked seeing them suffer, and that they had wanted to kill them? Never would come close to the number.

After a while her eyes stopped flickering between colours and settled on her beautiful blue orbs specked with brown. She grabbed his shoulders and looked him straight in the eye, as if she was trying to convince him.

"Like I said Kai, you weren't thinking straight. It's not your fault."

"Is that an excuse for trying to kill you? Ray is right; I was still the one holding you by the throat. It was my hand that was strangling you. No matter what you say, that won't change. Maybe he's right about everything; maybe I should be sorry for ever being born. Maybe I should just let him beat me into a bloody pulp. At least it would serve me right."

"Don't say that. Yes, it was your hand on my throat. But it was also your hand that let go and I'm still alive. If you're going to start to point the finger, you might as well point it at me for jumping in front of Tyson."

"That's different. You were…."

It was only then that he noticed his friends pale face and the pained expression on it. Her breathing had become shallower and sweat was glistening from her effort to keep it steady.

"Are you alright Faith?"

"Just a headache that won't stop."

"We got to get you to a hospital."

"Are you kidding me? If an ambulance shows up here the press will blow the whole matter up in seconds. Tomorrow it'll be in the newspaper about how you went crazy and tried to stab everyone with a knife. I'll be fine, I just need some rest."

The tone in her voice told him that she was trying to convince herself more than him. She tried to stand up, but before she could make another move he had already grabbed her and was placing her softly onto the bed.

"At least let me get a doctor. They got that confidentiality clause thingy remember?"

"Look it's not necce…"

"It would make me feel a lot more comfortable if there was a professional opinion about how you feel. Remember that pneumonia that was only a cold to you?"

She sighed. She knew that this was more than a light headache, but the last thing she needed was having Kai feel guiltier than he already felt.

"Alright, alright, but I'm telling you, all he'll say is that it's a slight headache and that I need rest. I'll go to my room now."

"Oh now you won't. You're staying right here in the dark and silence. Less strain for your brain. Just rest, don't try to think too much and…don't fall asleep, k? I'll be right back'

Before Kai could even set foot outside his room he collided into Ray. His eyes narrowed. Had he been eavesdropping? If so then how much had he heard? He knew Ray had been lusting after Faith for some time now. Who could blame him; she had been the source of wet dreams to many. Kai couldn't remember his own, but if he could he would know that she had been the subject of some of his as well. Of course that would make him slap himself silly, so perhaps it was better that he didn't remember anything of his nightly desires. When he saw the look of shame and apology on Rays face he realised that his team mate had in fact been eavesdropping, but only to be able to intervene in case it went wrong.

"We'll discuss this later. Right now I want you to call a doctor. Tell him he needs to get here fast."

"What do you mean?"

"I thought you had heard that." Inwardly he smirked as he saw a blush spreading on Ray's cheeks. "She might have an internal bleeding somewhere in her brain. You know a vein that goes pop? What are you still doing here? You should've hung up the phone by now. Get the doctor."

After Ray had left Kai kneeled next to Faith who looked scared even though the dark was hiding much of her expression.

"You really think I might have gotten an internal thing?"

He nodded. Well, so much for not trying to make him feel guilty. Kai just cursed the makers of this house for making these walls as thin as paper. He knew that she was scared of dieing even though she tried her best to hide it. Every time someone died in the convent she ran into the room and crept in the sheets like she'd seen a ghost. It always gave them a scare because she was as cold as ice when it happened. It was like her body was telling the rest of the world that there was something wrong with her.

He placed a hand on her forehead. Not really to check her temperature but just to let her know that he'd look after her.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like my head is about to explode"

"Don't worry, Ray's calling the doctor. I'm just going to get you some aspirin or something to lessen the pain."

As he stood up a hand shot up from under the covers grabbing a piece of his pants and holding on to it tightly.

"Please, don't leave me."

"What?"

"I need you to keep me awake. Please keep me awake."

"Don't worry, I'll only be gone for a second, I promise."

"Please stay... I'm scared Kai. I need you with me."

As he sat down again he mentally scratched the note that said that she still stayed with him out of pity. Kai grabbed the hand that had a vice grip on his pants. It felt like ice and he warmed it up absentmindedly.

"It's ok, I'm here. I'll stay."

"Kai?"

The voice sounded so unsure but there was an undertone that sounded like she was already going to know the answer to the question she was going to ask. But there's never harm in trying.

"I'm cold."

It wasn't really a question, but it was enough to make Kai get the point. He cursed himself. As a pureblood Russian he never had any problems with colder temperatures and settled with a light blanket to keep him warm at nights. But she wasn't and right now she was indeed freezing cold. Without even a second thought he crawled under the covers and held her in a tight hug. He shivered as his warmth came in touch with her body. Even her clothes seemed to be frozen.

"Sorry."

"Don't worry; I should've known you were an icicle. I just hope I won't get stuck to you like Tyson's tongue to that lamppost last December."

She snorted. It had been a funny sight and they were still teasing Tyson with it every chance they got. He was thinking deeply about the mysterious creature named Faith at the moment.

He had nearly killed her, confessed to her that he liked it and she wasn't accepting any apologies from him. And now, she was apologising to him for being cold. He just didn't get it. It had all been his fault, if he hadn't gotten addicted he would've never gotten into rehab and he would have never hurt her.

A sudden line of light shone into the room and Kai looked around hoping it would be the doctor.

Unfortunately it wasn't.


	8. Confusion

Chapter 8

Ray was standing in the doorway. When he saw their silhouettes in the bed like that he felt a sudden wave of anger and confusion wash over him.

"Was there something you wanted?"

Ray realised he had been staring and quickly averted his gaze away from the place Kais voice presumably came from. Damn, it was dark in here. But then he remembered what the doctor had said and was relieved that it was indeed dark.

"Oh, yeah. I just came to tell you that the doctor will be here soon. You're supposed to keep her in the dark and silence. I'll be back with the doc when he arrives. He said it wouldn't take long."

"Ok, but hey, could you bring me a warm blanket? Faith's freezing cold and I don't have any other ones. Thanks a million."

Ray mumbled a sure and closed the door again. But instead of getting the blankets as instructed he banged his head softly against the wall. What was up with them? Hours, no minutes ago Kai had tried to strangle her and now they were lying in each others arms like they were the happy couple.

How can she forgive him after all those things he had done to her? Why was she attached to HIM? He always treated her wrongly, mostly pretended she didn't even exist. While he, Ray Kon, did nothing but look after her. But all he ever got was a scowl or a glare. And oh dear if he ever dared to badmouth Kai in her presence. And yet every time that the team insinuated that there was something going on she got mad. They both did. Like it was an insult to what her relationship with Kai actually was.

Angrily he banged his head against the wall again. DAMMIT, he just wanted some clarity. It was doing his head in. He had been longing for the girl since the first day she'd gotten in here. But Kai had made it very clear that she was 'Hand off'. Yet the two weren't together and didn't seem to be interested in being more than just friends. And still Kai glared at everyone that even dared to come too close to Faith. When someone did her wrong, she could usually be found in Kai's arms, in deep conversation with said person, or said person beating up the one who wronged her.

But the Russian could do her wrong, he could slap her, strangle her, and he didn't even have to apologise. Ray could feel his anger rising again. He always felt it rising when he thought about the way she was being treated

_-DAMMIT, dammit, dammit, she deserves much better than that glaring piece of ice. If only she could've been mine, I could've shown her how someone is supposed to be treated. If only...-_

"Something wrong Ray?"

Ray jumped when he heard Max' voice. He didn't realise how foolish he had looked banging his head on the wall and hissing curses like that. He blushed and grinned at the blond a little sheepishly.

"Yeah, I'm fine; Faith needs a warm blanket though. Kai only has a sheet and you know how cold she can get."

Max handed him one from the nearby cupboard, but he shook his head and stared at the ground

"You go; I need to get some air."

He didn't have the heart to tell Max that he just couldn't see the two cuddled up like that again without wanting to hit Kai. Not right now anyway.

Max entered and arrived in total darkness. He hadn't been gifted with the night vision Ray had. He was about to click on the light when a hand stopped him. Kai had rushed over to him in utter silence when he noticed what Max was about to do.

"Don't, Faith needs to be in the dark right now. Thanks for the blanket."

Before Max could say anything the blanket was taken from his hands. His eyes got used to the dark a little and he could vaguely see Kai wrapping the blanket around the girl and then lying in the bed again, hugging her tightly. He heard soft whispers coming too, but they were in a different language, probably Russian because he was pretty sure that Kai didn't know Dutch.

He was worried, more about the mental state of the pair than anything else.  
_-One of them is going to get seriously hurt before they realise how much they mean for one another. They're in such denial that it's not even cute anymore.-_

Not long after Max had left the room Ray entered with the doctor. Kai refused to leave Faith alone during the examination and sat watching the whole process worriedly. The doc worked quickly and quietly. He was the house doctor of this team since they had first started, and knew the process well. Although they hardly ever got sick, Ray and Kai preferred to get their injuries checked in silence, while the others liked chitchat. He was unsure of the girl, but since he found her in the bedroom of the Russian, he assumed she was just like him when it came to procedure, though it didn't seem like she was in any state to talk anyway.

Her face was concentrated in keeping her breathing deep and even, but it didn't really seem to help much. Her eyes were pained. As he moved the blanket away from her body she shuddered slightly. This girl felt icy cold to the touch even though it was very warm in the room. His eyes widened when he saw the marks on her neck, but after casting an alarmed glance at Kai he continued. When he was done he spoke to the blue haired blader with a light hint of concern in his voice.

"I know that you don't like hospitals because of lack of privacy, but I'd like to take her for some extra tests. If there is something internal going on, which seems very likely, I can't see it with any instruments that can be taken with me in my bag. I'll drive her, and the press will be none the wiser."

"I'll go with you."

Faith piped up. She was the patient after all, and didn't like it when they talked about her like she wasn't there.

"Look, it's not necessary, I'll be fine, and I need some rest."

Kai looked at her intensely, he knew she hated hospitals, the blank and coldness of the rooms always gave her nightmares. She had very good reason. Last time she was there under observation and wires were attached all over her body. Her eyes were scared yet defiant at the same time.

"You are going. I'm not going to take the risk of… I won't let anything…"

Eyes met and inside those crimson pools she saw more emotion than she had ever noticed. There was fear, pleading, sorrow, and determination. It was all there and it made his eyes look more like vibrant rubies than ever before. This was the Kai she had met for the first time years ago. Before the training and torture corrupted their entire beings. This was the Kai she kept defending and returning to. This Kai was innocent and fragile, this Kai she adored. While searching for the right sentence to say he looked at her pleadingly and continued in a whisper.

"I don't want to lose you."


	9. Hospital

Chapter 9

Seeing that look in his eyes and hearing that voice filled with despair, she couldn't do much but agree. Even though it wasn't really with her full will. She didn't want the neighbourhood or any snooping reporters to see the huge mark around her neck. Normally her high trench coat collar would hide any small injuries in the neckline, but the front of the collar did not close. As soon as she had extended a hand towards Kai's scarf she pulled it back. She had nearly forgotten that Kai needed it just as much, if not more, than her.

Biovolt had loved torture, and was very known to scar just more than your soul. Around the age of 8 they had used a rather jagged blade with some kind of substance on Kai's neck. It had made sure that the wound healed slowly and painfully. Even today it still looked like a fresh scar. The skin was red and rough to the touch, not faded and smooth, though the wound had closed years ago. Of course, because of this reason, Kai was rarely seen without his famous white scarf.

Faith had a similar scar like this running down her arm, but she had a special shirt with one long sleeve to keep it hidden from plain sight. And if that one got dirty, she still had more than enough long sleeved shirts.

Her attempt at grabbing the scarf was not in vain. When he saw the short movement he realised that the redness of her neck would cause suspicions. He also realised that his scarf was the only one they had in the house and he cursed. Not only for the fact that they had no other scarf, but that she always seemed to care more for the image of the team than her own health. They would've been in a hospital by now if she hadn't been so stubborn. Yes, an ambulance would raise suspicions, but at least it would save time and maybe even her life.

Then he had an idea. His scarf was long enough, so he grabbed the ends of it, pulled Faith close and loosely wrapped the scarf around her neck as well. His mind decided not to notice the slight blush Faith had on her cheeks and Faith decided to ignore the warm and pleasant feeling she always got when he pulled her in his arms.

On the way to the hospital Faith felt her eyes drooping and she placed her head on Kai's shoulder. The ride in the car was just too silent and all she wanted to do was close her eyes and sleep. When he noticed it he softly started whispering words of comfort and encouragement to her in Russian. He always whispered to her in Russian because it gave him the feeling of comfort and privacy that he so desperately wanted.

The doctor looked in his rear-view mirror and smiled a little. He could do anything but. They just looked so cute together. It was like they were made for each other. But something in their eyes told him that they hadn't had it easy. There was certain coldness in them. He had seen it in the Russian before and it always scared him. But now, seeing them like this, he felt pity for the both of them. The coldness didn't seem like it was harshness and bitterness, but like the emotion had just been stolen from their eyes.

He knew that if the culprit who did this to these two would ever die; he would surely go to hell and burn there for eternity for the shameless crime.

Then he noticed the glare from Kai as the boy kept softly whispering to the girl and quickly turned his attention back to the road. In the hospital Faith was undergoing a few tests that gave Kai confirmation of his fears. A small blood vessel had broken in the back of her head. After convincing Faith to stay in the hospital for a days worth of observation the doctor wanted to have a private word with Kai.

It had taken him quite some time to get Kai to leave Faith alone for a few minutes, but in the end the Russian was seated opposite him in the small office.

"Now look mister Kai, I know you prefer discretion and privacy, but the state of this girl brings up a lot of questions. Now if you can give me a good explanation, I won't take any further steps. If you can't, or wont, I'm afraid it would be better for the girl if she was placed somewhere…safer, for her own good. Bruises are one thing mister Hiwatari, but internal bleedings are another. So tell me, what exactly caused this?"

Kai looked everywhere except in the eyes of the doctor. Maybe it was best for Faith if he didn't say anything at all, then at least she would be safe. If she stayed, who knows what else he would do to her. He couldn't let it; he wouldn't let himself hurt her anymore. But before he could do anything about it, the part of him that needed Faith to survive, his human part overrode his guilt and took control of his speech.

"I never meant to hurt her, I just flipped. I felt like I wasn't in control of myself anymore, all I could do was look at my own hand grabbing her and I couldn't will it to stop. I'm going through a difficult period right now. She told me I would get more emotional, but I never imagined I would ever harm her, if I did I would've gone to a special centre, no matter what the newspapers would say."

It became very clear to the doctor. He nodded a little in understanding. The boy seemed sincere in his answer, and the slight tremor in the hands was an obvious sign to what the boy was going through.

"If I take it correctly, mister Hiwatari…"

"Please sir, call me Kai, mister Hiwatari refers much more to my grandfather"

This startled the doctor. In the past few years since he had become the team's doctor he had always called the dual haired blader mister Hiwatari without any problems. But something seemed different now. It had been no secret that the boy carried hatred towards the name, but this was the first time he actually refused to be called that.

"Eum, alright… anyway, if I understand you are in some form of rehab? From the shaking in your hands I would guess drugs most likely. Why did you not consult me in the matter if I may ask? This could've been prevented you know."

"I, we never thought about it. All she said was that we'd get through it together, and now I've hurt her. I know I should've known better, I know this wouldn't have happened if I hadn't been so stupid."

"Now mis…Kai, it's no use crying over spilt milk, but I would prefer it if you would let me help you through the rest of the way now. And if you don't, I'll do it anyway. Just to keep watch so this girl does not get harmed any worse. But she will come through, her broken ribs seemed to have healed quite nicely I must say."

Kai froze. He thought back a few days ago to when Faith had intervened him from hitting Tyson. Remembering the hard blows he had given her he realised that he had given her those injuries. Obviously he had hurt her much worse then she let appear.

"Would you like to say goodbye to her before we leave? Visiting hour is almost over."

This took Kai out of his thoughts, and a determined glare got stuck on his face.

"I'm not leaving."

The doctor sighed.

"Kai, I realise that this girl means a lot to you, but no matter how famous you are, only family or married relatives are allowed to do that. And what would the press think? If I remember correctly, the reason the girl was brought here so late was to avoid a scandal."

That hit him where it hurt the most. Reluctantly Kai agreed, but with that determination not leaving his face he added that he would be back in the hospital first thing tomorrow morning, no matter what the press thought about it.

Seeing her in that horrible white room had his guilt rising again. She would be alone here for one night, with nothing to protect her from the nightmares. He had forgotten to take Tala's shirt with them, not thinking that she would have to stay. The nightmares would consume her here, he knew. And that was not good for her recovering. So upon leaving her he took off his scarf and carefully wrapped it around her neck, baring his scar to the world. She looked up at him questioningly and he smiled. She just looked too cute for her own good like that. He whispered to her softly

"To keep the nightmares at bay. I'm sorry I forgot to take Tala's shirt with me. I know that this won't help as much, but at least it's better than nothing hey?"

She put her hands on his, where he was still holding the scarf and looked at him so sad it would make a puppy feel ashamed.

"Don't leave me alone."

"I promise I'll be here when you open your eyes tomorrow."

With the guilt and sadness eating him alive he turned and left the room, stealing one last glance at his friend through the window. She was waving at him sadly. The memory of her hands on his still lingered in his brain. God, she had been cold. The doctor patted his back sympathetically.

"Don't worry son, your girlfriend's in good hands. Nothing will happen to her. And besides, she's strong; I'd be surprised if she wasn't up and running again tomorrow."

A glare was shot in the docs' direction.

"She's not my girlfriend. I've known her since I was 7."

"Well you sure could've fooled me. She seemed to be important to you, that's all."

"She IS important to me. Just not my girlfriend."

Back home Kai explained the whole thing to the rest of the team and immediately Ray offered to drive to the hospital tomorrow morning. Max, Tyson and Kenny however did not seem so eager to go. Just like Faith they disliked hospitals and preferred to spend as little time in there as possible. And besides, it was only for one night; surely she didn't need all of them being there?

Kai's night did not go peaceful. His head was too full of worries over the girl. Despite what everyone said, that she was strong, that she'd make it, he still felt like anything could go wrong. Maybe it was because this was the first time that she had actually gotten hurt after the convent, or just the realisation that Faith was no more human than the rest of them. She too could die and that knowledge crushed his ideals. She had always been there for him, like a rock. But now, he realised that one day she would be gone, and he found that he had no idea about what he was going to do without her. She had been that one speck of light he had kept holding onto in the darkness. The only thing that kept him human. What would become of him if she was gone? He didn't know and ended up sleeping for 2 short hours worrying about it.

So the next morning he was extremely tired and bad tempered when he sat at the breakfast table. It was Ray who dared to point him to the newspaper. Normally Kai would've grabbed it himself, but he was fully focused on getting awake enough for Faith today, so he was drooped over a cup of coffee. He couldn't care less about what was new in the world.

"Eum… Kai, I think you'd better take a look at this."

The coffee was forgotten after Kai read the headline and watched the picture that was added in the article. It was a photo of him and Faith coming out of the house.

---Start article---

_Kai Hiwatari: future daddy?_

_New York 06/15/06 – 15.00P.M. Kai Hiwatari, beyblade legend and current member and leader of the Bladebreakers is spotted outside of his home by a nearby reporter. This may not seem so important or extraordinary, but just you wait. In the company of this legend was his old friend Faith Delare also known to be an ex-member of Kai's former team: The Demolition Boys. The news has been having their suspicions about these two for ages, but it seems as they finally seem willing to admit it. The two of them are together, and from the looks of them have been for a long time now. Coming out of the house with his scarf around both their necks, holding her tightly in his arms leaves no doubt about it. And it seems like the couple has taken a very big step. They were being guided into a car by the teams' doctor. Seeing as there was nothing wrong with either one of the young couple, this reporter suspects that there might be a second generation on the way. If you look at this picture you can see that Kai has his hands on her stomach almost tenderly, which only raises suspicions even more. Were they planning on confessing the entire thing on the upcoming press conference? Or were they going to keep it a secret until it was too noticeable to hide? This paper does not know, but you now know that the cat's out of the bag. We sure know a lot of fan girls who are going to be very disappointed right now._

_We wish the couple a lot of luck with their new bundle of joy, and hope that we'll be the first to know when the child is born._

--- Article---

"Child is born..." he muttered with a snort "…how about when hell freezes over and I learn how to fly with my butt. I should've known the press would be all over it. I hope that they haven't found the hospital yet, the last thing she needs right now is nosy reporters."

"Do you want me to call a cab instead of driving?"

"No Ray, I'm sure the rest of those stupid newspapers will wait for confirmation at the press conference or harass us at our front porch. And remember, the hospital still refuses reporters if asked."

"Yeah, I know, but still, a cab isn't so easy to follow."

"But much easier to bribe."

Ray agreed, but didn't realise that Kai had preferred him driving because that would've given the Russian a few moments alone with the girl whilst he was parking the car. That way he could keep his promise and tactically inform her about what the press was thinking. The ride to the hospital went in silence, mostly because Ray didn't trust his voice at the moment and Kai was filled with worry and guilt again as he thought over yesterday's conversation.

He had hurt her; he had broken her ribs, and nearly got her killed. It had all been his fault. The doctor had even offered to take Faith away, for her own good. Maybe he should have agreed. That would keep her safe. Perhaps he could just refuse to take her home with them today. Oh, who was he kidding, the only reason that he had gotten this far in his rehab was because of her support. He wouldn't be able to finish it without her. Without her gentle face and smile, those eyes that kept looking at him with so much pride and confidence. Without all of that he was weak. And that would result in him grabbing that needle again. What could he say, he needed her, whether he liked it or not. He could only hope that he wouldn't lose control over himself anymore.

When he found the room he left her in yesterday empty, he went to the information desk. Perhaps she just had been moved to a more private chamber, or she was undergoing some more tests.

"Eum, excuse me, miss. Do you know where Faith Delare is located? She was in room 326 yesterday, but there's nobody there."

"Faith Delare… Blue hair, blond highlights, funny looking eyes?"

At this Kai growled lowly in his throat. Her eyes were far from funny looking in his opinion. Then again, he had gotten used to her eyes changing every time she felt a different emotion. Instead of scowling at her, he tried to control his temper. He had to start doing that from now on.

"Yes, her, do you know where she is?"

"Oh wait, I remember you, you're the boy that was with her yesterday, weren't you. Yes you were, I never forget a face. You are such a lovely couple."

"We're not…" he sighed, this was like fighting a huge pack of jelly "Look, could you just tell me where she was moved?"

The happy smile faded from the nurses' face and made way for a frown. That boy was just too rushed for a morning. As she found the data he was looking for though, her face went blank slightly paled.

"She's in ICU, room 12."

"She's WHERE?"


	10. I'll give up everything

Chapter 10 

The nurse looked at the young man, unsure of how she was supposed to react to the outburst. He seemed to be angry, panicked, afraid and desperate at the same time. To tell you the truth, Kai was gripped with disbelief, and reality. The only thing he vowed to protect, the one person that could prevent him from becoming totally inhuman was in the intensive care unit. Everyone had been telling him that she would come through, that she would make it. He had believed them; he had thought she would. But he had been wrong, they all had been wrong, she wasn't going to be ok, and it was his fault. One thing came into his mind. He had to see her, right now.

"What room did you say again?"

"12, but its restricted sir, only family is allowed to go in there."

Anger started raging through his veins, and it took him a great deal of willpower to control it.

"Look here nurse… Jane, I've known that girl since I was seven, and I also know for a fact that I'm the closest thing to family she has left. Now I'm about to lose her and you're saying that I can't go see her? Try and stop me."

The glare shot in her direction was a hard one to miss. Kai stood there waiting for a little while, and when the nurse gave no sign to object, he stormed off towards ICU.

Once there the male nurse in charge didn't even try to stop Kai from entering, it took the guy all his courage to give Kai the necessary medical precautions. After he got in his heart sank and his guilt rose. She had got into a coma because of him, because she had wanted to help him, because he had been stupid and weak.

The tubes sticking out of her nose and mouth were horrendous to see and the wires from the patches on her body made it look like some kind of freak Frankenstein movie. The clip around her index finger was attached to a beeping machine in a corner. Apparently they needed to check her heart rate. The rest of the machines were beeping and buzzing with the signs that she was all right.

But Kai saw it differently. Faith didn't look at all alright to him. Her skin was so pale, that even his scarf looked grey. Her lips showed a slight tinge of blue, like she had just spent hours in the snow. Touching her hand, he realised that it was as cold as ice. This all signalled to Kai that she was everything but ok. And he was the one to blame for it.

While grabbing a chair to sit next to her, the disturbing dream came into his head again and the message replayed itself inside of her head.

_-One day you'll go berserk. She will fight long and hard, but she will die. -_

"I guess you were right Tala." He muttered to himself and buried his head in the sheets next to Faiths body. At long last he let his emotions take control and broke down in tears.

He didn't care for his reputation anymore. His reputation ended up destroying the one thing he had cared for. Even though he had tried so hard not to do it, he ended up caring for the blue haired girl. Everything he cared for died, he should have known better than giving this girl a place in his heart. He couldn't afford to lose her too. If she died, then his human side would be lost forever. He needed her; she had always been his rock. And now he had smashed her. He never wanted any of this to happen.

"Faith, I'm so sorry. You're going to die now because of my stupidity. I should've never asked for your help, then you would still be ok. I swear I'll give up everything for you if you wake up. I need you in my life."

Not realising that Ray had heard it he kept his head in the bed and his hand in her cold, pale one. Just like Kai, Ray had found the normal room that Faith was supposed to be in empty. When he found out that she was now lying in ICU, anger raged through him. He hated Kai so deeply as he stormed off towards room 12. He had been the one responsible for putting her there and the Russian didn't even seem to care much. But when he entered the room and heard Kai's plea, the angers subsided and made way for sorrow.

Kai did not just care for Faith, it seemed he adored her. What way the adoration went, he didn't know exactly, but all previous theories that the raven-haired had formed concerning Kai and his attitude towards Faith were tossed and burned. The vulnerability of the otherwise stoic blader seemed to both crush his heart and warm it, because he finally had the clarity he had wanted. Then his gaze turned towards Faith and he felt lost immediately.

The paleness of her skin, the absence of all vividness. This didn't look like Faith at all. For even though she looked more dead then alive, she looked even more fragile. Somewhat like a paper doll. Like the slightest gust of wind would blow her away or tear her apart.

He placed a hand on Kai's shoulder. The other boy looked up startled, a track of silent tears evident on his face. He didn't even bother to glare at Ray for catching him in his vulnerable state. The mask of indifference had been broken.

"Don't worry man, she'll be all right, she's strong."

Upon hearing that, Kai's mood changed entirely. He glared at Ray and then turned his gaze towards Faiths lifeless face, unknowingly warming up her hand.

"I'm so sick of hearing everyone say that all the time. She won't be all right, she won't make it. Don't you get it; this is exactly what I was trying to prevent. I thought that if I… if I kept her at bay I could stop caring for her, and then nothing would ever happen to her. My parents died because I cared for them, I didn't want her to die because of me neither. But now she is going to die, and nothing you say can change what's going to happen."

"Kai, none of us could foresee this. You shouldn't blame yourself like this."

"Don't tell me what I should or shouldn't do!"

And before Ray knew it Kai had risen to his feet and he was now face to face with crimson eyes filled with hatred and other things. It was obvious that Kai wanted to blame himself and that no one would be able to change his mind.

They stood like that for several moments before Kai just sighed and turned to sit back on his chair.

"I'm sorry, it's just that…"

"I know, she's important to you. Even though you said it a million times before, I never realised just how much she meant to you as a friend. Sorry for never believing you."

Ray picked up another chair and sat next to Kai in silence, at least for a while. For once Kai was the one to break it.

"How much do you care for her?"

"A lot, but probably not nearly as much as you do."

He had to admit that, he did care for Faith, but after witnessing Kai's human side, he knew that no matter what, Kai cared for her the most. He didn't know what made Kai ask that question. Not that he minded, this was much better than the silence. He thought it was just simple curiosity. But for Kai it was different. He hadn't been ignorant from the dirty looks Ray sent him every time he and Faith were in a conversation or every time he interrupted one of Ray's conversations with her. Not to mention the anger outburst two nights ago. He wasn't curious; he was looking if he would be fit to take care of Faith if she woke up. He couldn't do it, not anymore. The only thing he would do is hurt her. If she woke up, he would be out of her life. It would be best for the both of them. Just thinking of that made his heart ache. But he ignored it. He'd willingly go through this everyday if she'd be safe.

"Do you want her?"

"If you want to put it so rudely, yes, I want her. But not physically alone. I want to love her, I want to cherish her, spend my days with her. But she doesn't love me like that. I'd find it amazing if she even considered me as a friend."

Because Kai had his eyes on Faith again, Ray couldn't see the bitter smile that had formed on Kais lips as he tenderly stroked a cold cheek.

"We were never learned how to love. You shouldn't blame her for it. We are friends because we were together before everything was taken from us. We remind each other of the days that we were human…and happy. If it hadn't been for that I doubt that we would've even known each other."

The silence returned for a moment. Ray used it to digest the piece of information that was just given to him. He had known that the two had gone through hard times, but he had never heard it from either mouth. And he hadn't expected their times to be this cruel. He was shook out of his thoughts by Kai's next question.

"Do you have dreams about her?"

This made him feel uncomfortable, but he didn't see the use of lying, of course, he wasn't going to give Kai all the details either. Very silently he admitted.

"Sometimes. But Kai, why all these questions."

Because the low volume of the question, he probably didn't hear it, or probably ignored it.

"How do you feel after one?"

"That depends on how intense the dream was. Why are you asking me this?"

But once again, Kai continued.

"I dream about her too sometimes. I can't remember them, but I know they're about her. After those dreams, I always get this intense feeling of calm and happiness, I only get that when I'm with her, so they must be about her. I don't know how she can do it, but it's like she can make me feel normal again."

Rays eyes widened a little, but at the same time the look in them softened. For the first time ever he felt pity for his team captain. He wondered what it must be like. To feel something like that and not being able to identify what it is. He knew, of course, but then again, he had been raised up in a loving family.

"You know Kai; love is something you don't need to learn. But you do have to learn how to recognize the feeling. And what you just told me sounds a lot like it."

Saying that hurt Ray, because it was a confirmation that he didn't want. He also knew that he couldn't intervene. This was just too powerful for him to stop.

"I can't. I don't know how. I care for her, yes, but everyone I care for dies. I'm the one that put her here; I don't want to hurt her anymore. I don't deserve to love her, I don't deserve her. I wish I could just stop caring for her, but I cant, I just cant, I'm too weak. She can't love me, she shouldn't. She deserves better."

When Kai started this rant Ray got really concerned for Kai. The boy seemed to be on the edge of a serious breakdown. And he had no idea to help him. Faith would've known, she always knew how to help people. But now she was the one that needed the help. Before Ray could stop it, it stopped on its own, and Kai turned to Ray with the most serious of looks on his face.

"She can never know we had this conversation. Promise me that you'll never tell a soul about this. Please, she can't know. I don't deserve her. Promise you won't tell."

Ray agreed, but not willingly. He found out that Kai Hiwatari didn't just adore Faith, but loved her as well. But instead of embracing those feelings and showing them, he seemed to be afraid of them. He denied them, like it was something that wasn't meant for him. Even though Ray was practically certain that this was meant for both. They had gone through so much together, it was only natural they belonged to one another. They were the only ones who would understand what the other had gone through.

Silence had fallen again. But this one wasn't as pleasant. It felt very awkward this time. It stayed like that for a while until the doctor came to check up on Faith. Then it all happened very fast. Before Ray could even turn his head to greet the doctor Kai had risen up in blind rage. He was about to pounce on the doctor when Ray's reflexes kicked in and he grabbed both of Kai's arms to stop him. This proved very hard since a pissed off Kai is very strong. Feeling the restraint Kai yelled at the doctor whilst fighting Ray.

"How could you let her get this way? You said she was safe!"

After that Kai freed himself from Rays grip and rushed forwards in rage.


	11. This is for the best

Chapter 11

Instead of hitting the doctor, like Ray had feared, Kai grabbed a fistful of the older mans collar and pulled him within an inch of his face.

"How could you let this happen to her? How?"

Everyone could clearly see that the doctor was slightly unnerved by the Russians actions. But his voice remained professionally calm.

"Complications are what happened. If you would release me, then we can calmly talk about it."

But Kai just tightened his grip, anger very obvious in his eyes.

"And give you the chance to run? I don't think so."

"Very well" the doctor agreed. It's not like he had any other choice. He knew Kai long enough that he wasn't going to let go unless he was satisfied. "We had hooked her on some machines to check up on her. Apparently it was a good thing we did, because at 02.00 an alarm went off from her room. She had a cardiac arrest. Apparently a blood clog had formed in her head. If our night shift personnel had reacted a little later we would've lost her."

Kai started shaking from shock.

"You said she was in good hands, you said she was strong, that she was going to be alright!"

"No one could have foreseen this happening; all we could do was take our precautions."

This was too much for Kai. He let go of the doctor and slid to the floor in defeat. She had nearly died. Two people had that line running through their mind. Ray put his hands on Kai's shoulders. He knew to some extent how Kai must feel right now, but then again, he hadn't been that close with her. What Kai must be feeling now was probably a thousand times worse.

Kai's heart was simply shattered. Seeing the two in such a depressed state the doctor tried to cheer them up.

"The good news is that she stabilized fast, and if she remains stable by tomorrow, she can leave ICU."

Kai and Ray looked up at the doctor. The latter seemed somewhat relieved, but the first still had a sadness etched on his face.

"What is the chance that she'll wake up?"

"Very high. Plus I have a good feeling about it."

"Why should we still believe you? You have been wrong once."

"Mister Kai, as I said before, complications happen unforeseen. Trust me when I say that she shall wake up."

Kai seemed to regain some of his composure and went back to sit besides Faith. No matter what anyone would say to him after that, he just stopped listening. They were all liars, and all that mattered to him now was Faith and her well being.

While Ray went out for lunch Kai did nothing but sit there and watch the girl. Only when visiting hours were over he left his seat. But even home he seemed to be in a zombie condition to some extent. Ray informed the rest of the team of Faith's condition and thought back to the article.

"Do you want me to call the news instead?"

"Nah its ok, I'll do it."

Kai took the phone and dialled the number of the offending newspaper. It took a while before he finally got the editor on the phone.

"Well, hello there mister Hiwatari, I heard you wanted to give a comment on the article we posted? May I inform you that you need one of our reporters for that and not me?"

"No I'm here to file a complaint. Firstly you broke the laws of privacy, namely that no reporter is to come within 10 kilometres of our house without permission. Secondly your story has not one fact of truth and therefore it is complete bull. And thirdly, Faith and I are NOT in a relationship, NOT pregnant. She is however lying in the hospital with a severe illness. So I would prefer it if the reporter in question would keep his fairytales to himself. Therefore I demand that his whole story would be dismantled in the next copy of your newspaper or you got yourself a lawsuit on your hands."

And with that he threw the telephone down and went to bed, leaving a lot of questioning stares behind him. He hardly slept during the night because of his nightmares and fears haunting him. The next morning he found Ray sitting at the breakfast table. It was obvious the Asian hadn't slept much either. There was a small pile of mail lying on the place Kai normally sat.

"What are those?"

"Fan mail, what does it look like?"

Kai started reading them because he knew there was no way around it anyhow. Half of them were from girls crying over the fact that he was taken and why he hadn't chosen them or guys calling him names because he had knocked up the girl that THEY were going to marry, and the other half were from people that were rooting for them to become an item and congratulate them blablabla…

"What a waste of perfectly good paper." Kai couldn't help but commenting on the large part of what were completely idiotic messages. Ray snorted as though he was agreeing.

He saw that Ray had also gotten a smile pile today. He was curious, so he decided to leave the paper for what it was… at least for now.

"So, what do yours say?"

"Nothing much, just that I shouldn't have given up Faith so easily…" He quickly flipped through the rest of the papers "… the rest are just fan girls/boys asking me to marry them. You know the usual."

He gave Kai a weak grin. They were definitely not going to hear the end of this yet. Afterwards Kai turned his attention to the newspaper; it was way too early for them to go visit Faith anyway. He was pleased to see the headline on the front page

Article

Testimony from Kai Hiwatari! Faith Caels Terminal?

Apparently the reporter that wrote the previous article had given us wrong information. Kai Hiwatari phoned our editor yesterday with the truth. The reason that Kai was holding Faith was because she was weak and could not walk properly herself. Apparently the girl has gotten seriously ill and needed to be taken to the hospital for immediate care. This newspaper would like to sincerely apologise to the parties in question for the offending lies we printed yesterday. We hope that Faith will get well soon.

Article

"Well at least that's cleared up."

As he was about to take his cup of coffee he noticed that his hands were shaking a little. But he dismissed it as a result from lack of sleep. A couple of cups of java would fix that easily. After about three he saw Ray picking up his car keys.

"Where are you going?"

"To the hospital, where else?"

"But visiting hours haven't begun yet."

"I know, but while I was eating lunch I asked the doctor if we could come in earlier and he agreed after a while of prodding. So visiting hours have started, for us at least."

Kai nodded and followed Ray to the car. To their relief Faith had stayed stable the entire night and she was moved back to a normal room, although she still had a machine checking her heart rate. The bad news was that she hadn't woken up yet, and the odds were lessening every day.

The minute they entered the room Kai returned to being in his zombie like state. And that's how it went for the rest of the week. Ray was getting really worried about Kai. He hardly ate, hardly slept and seemed to get more depressed every day. But the slate-haired never let anything out.

The only time he talked was when the doctor asked him questions concerning his rehabilitation. But even that seemed to be absent minded. The boy had also started to shake very obviously. One morning when he had woken up and was ready to take Kai and him back to the hospital he found a note on the table.

The writing was definitely Kai's so Ray picked up the note and read the message.

_Ray_

_I know you will treat her right. Take good care of her for me._

_This is for the best_

_Kai_

Ray dropped the note and rushed towards Kai's room panicked.


	12. The meadow

Chapter 12

Faith found herself walking in utter darkness. So dark even that she could not see the floor. She didn't even know if there was a floor. Everything was black. After walking for what seemed like hours she just sat herself down and gave up trying to find a light or a wall. She was lost and very bored. But when she heard a voice calling out her name everything changed.

"FAAAAAAAITH" someone called from behind her.

As soon as she had turned her head she was no longer in the darkness, but in a field of gorgeous flowers. Her eyes turned into a muddy kind of white. She was utterly shocked as a blond man grabbed her into a hug.

"I can't believe you're here, oh my god, I thought I was never going to see you again. But here you are, oh, I missed you so much."

She pried the guy away from her and looked at him confused. She had never seen this man before in her life, how could he miss her?

"Excuse me, but, I don't know you."

The hurt in the blonde's eyes was evident, but then he seemed to remember something and his face lit up again.

"Of course you don't. I've grown a lot since we've last seen each other, but it's me Faith, it's me Chester."

Then it became very obvious to Faith.

She was either insane or he was. Where were they anyway? Last she remembered was her falling asleep in the hospital. This was all very confusing. Instead of a sterile hospital room she was in a beautiful meadow with a guy that claimed to be her murdered little brother. It didn't make sense. He felt his hand on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry; I shouldn't have jumped on you with that piece of info like that. I know it's hard to believe sis, but it's really me. I think my face looked exactly like yours when mom and dad told me."

Her head shot up. Mom, dad? She was definitely losing it. Maybe this was some freak dream she hoped to wake out of soon. But as if reading her thoughts he pinched her arm and grinned.

"Nope, sis, you're wide awake."

"But then, how is this possible? Mom and Dad are dead, and so are you… I saw them carrying you to the pits. You are dead."

"I know we are, but what are you?"

This childish response seemed logical, but it was weird too. How could she have died, she was just going to bed. But she chose to no longer question it, but accepted the fact that she had been granted the wish of being with her family again. She looked around the field, seeing a lot of people peacefully chatting and having no stress at all. Chester led her to a blanket in the middle of the meadow, and yet it seemed like the other people were miles away. She sat down and let all the new information sink in. She looked at her brother questioningly.

"So, is this heaven then?"

She quirked her eyebrow when she saw him rolling on the floor in laughter.

"You know, if I got a nickel for every time a new arrival said that, I'd be bloody rich, too bad nobody here ever has a nickel. No sis, this is not heaven. This is just some kind of waiting ground I think. Where people wait for the rest of their family so they can move on."

"Move on to where?"

"I honestly have no idea. Afterlife I guess, or reincarnation or whatever else is possible."

That seemed like a fairly reasonable thing to understand. It was amazing to see her brother again though, even if this would be explained as a fucked up imagination thing if she woke up tomorrow. She looked again at the person that she could call her brother. One thing bothered her.

"Chester, how come you've…well…grown up?"

"I got here as a little kid Faith, That's the weird thing about this place, only kids age here until they reach 18 or something, and the elderly get some of their youth back. Wait till you see mom and dad, they'll be so happy, we are finally together again. Look, there they are."

And he dragged his older sister back to her feet and towards their parents. Her mouth fell open in shock. This couldn't be a dream. No, the image of her parents was much too good for that. In her memory she had practically forgotten what they looked like. It seemed like she had indeed died. And that realisation struck her parents too as they looked at her sadly.

"I'm so sorry that you had to go so young my dear. But we are glad to have you with us again. We missed you ever so much."

With tears in her eyes she accepted the welcoming embrace of her mother and father. Not tears of grief, but tears of happiness, she was finally complete again, to some extent.

"I'm so happy that I can finally see you all again, touch you, hug you. I'm sorry I kept you waiting so long. I missed you too."

And she started crying in earnest. The vastness of this experience overwhelming her. She was happy and grieved at the same time. Because even though she had gained her family, she left someone. Kai was not with her, and that hurt her heart. Still held by her mothers' arms she felt a small tap on her shoulder.

She stared straight into blue eyes that, for the first time since she had seen them, were filled with emotions. But they were not happy; in fact they seemed to be filled with guilt and apologies. 'Tala' she whispered and switched the hug to her old friend, shutting her eyes in happiness and disbelief. That one minute that she closed her eyes Tala hugged her back and let out a strangled sorry. When she opened them to ask him why he was sorry the meadow had disappeared and she was in darkness again. But Tala was still standing there, guilt etched over his face. A small light seemed to be shining from within him. But Faith didn't notice. She was looking around her, hoping that the meadow and her family would be around the corner. But they weren't, wherever she looked there was only darkness.

She went back to Tala, and hugged him again, hoping it would take her back to the meadow. But after a few minutes she gave up and broke down in tears. Tears of grief this time, since all she had loved was taken from her for a second time. He softly stroked her hair as if to comfort her.

"Why?"

"Your time hasn't come yet Faith, you weren't supposed to be there. I'm sorry for taking you back, but people still need you here."

"Taking me back? How could you have had anything to do with that? How come you are still here and my family isn't?"

"Your family isn't allowed to travel in between. Me neither, technically, but this was an emergency. You couldn't die just yet, I couldn't let you."

"But why Tala? Why?"

"As I said, you're still needed here, Kai still needs you here. No matter how much I wanted to leave you there I couldn't. Not at the cost of him."

"What do you mean?"

"Even though this is not like heaven and hell Faith, there are still rules to allow you to come into the meadow. If you had died, Kai would've abandoned all sanity and turned his back on his friends. He would not just betray them; he would use evil methods to get money for drugs. He would never be allowed into the meadow because of that and we would never see him again. He would be forced to walk around in eternal darkness, never finding peace."

Faith looked around quickly and then focused her eyes on Tala with a grim look.

"Darkness like this you mean?"

"No, this darkness is eerie, I admit, but this is just you unconscious. All your senses have gone offline so to speak. They'll come back to you once and a while, as long as you don't give up."

"Even though giving up would mean that I can see my family again?"

"Yes, because remember Faith, if you die now, he will never walk into that meadow. Do you really wish to spend eternity with your family missing him?"

She closed her eyes in defeat, he was right. Even though eternity with her family sounded fabulous, she wouldn't be whole without Kai. For some reason, he held a part of her soul. And the bad thing was he wouldn't let go of it.

"So, am I just supposed to walk around here until my senses decide to come back to me again?"

"That or you just need to wait for the right leverage to have you fighting again."

He tightened the hug and kissed her hair.

"I'm so sorry for taking you away; I hope you'll forgive me someday. Because I'd rather walk into the darkness forever, than have you mad at me for the rest of eternity. And believe me when I say that's a long time."

After that she was alone again. Though the veil of darkness seemed to have gotten a little lighter. During her stay in the darkness she remained slightly mad and sad, but she knew she had to hang on to her life for Kai. If she would focus she could hear sounds sometimes, strange beeping noises, or tapping of feet on a floor. She had however, no clue about time. Was one minute in that darkness 20 seconds of consciousness or 2 hours? But it seemed like the darkness of her surroundings seemed to brighten and dim from time to time. All of a sudden she felt her hand being grasped. She looked at it.

Nothing there.

And yet, she could feel warmth spread through her fingers and up her arm. At first she thought she heard one of the machines acting weirdly, but after a while it became clear to her that someone was in the room, and talking to her. She focused as much as she could.

"…_would still be ok. I swear I'll give up everything for you if you wake up. I need you in my life."_

It was Kai. Oh how she wished that she could just squeeze his hand, or tell him that she was okay in some way, but seeing as she was trapped inside herself she couldn't do anything but listen to the guilt and sorrow in his voice. Seemingly not long after her hand felt cold again and the noises were gone. It went on like that for a while. Sometimes she could make out words or sentences and other times she was deaf.

"_Do you want her?"_

"…_rudely…want her… cherish her, spend… days... But she doesn't love me like that… amazing if she …me as a friend."_

"…_must be about her. I don't know how … she can make me feel normal again."_

"_She can never know ... Promise you won't tell."_

After that everything went silent again. Faith knew that she was missing a whole lot of the conversation, but she didn't care. For some reason she could feel Kai now every time she focussed hard enough. And he wasn't too happy. And every time she checked it seemed to be getting worse. She was getting worried that something bad was going to happen to him, and there was no Tala to ask any questions to. To be totally honest, she still wasn't even sure that this wasn't all just some bad dream. But she knew that if she didn't wake up from it soon, all would be lost. And that seemed to be just the leverage that Tala was talking about.

#-# Land of the Wake #-#

Arriving at Kai's room he found the door closed. This was not a good sign. Not caring if he would wake up the rest of the team with his actions, he ran in and barged the door.

Finding it empty.

#-# Back in Faith's mind #-#

Kai was approaching her again; she could feel his presence nearby. Sadness was now radiating from a mile away. She felt her cheek being touched tenderly and her hair stroked. But all the emotions surrounding him were worrying her.

"_I'm sorry I can't fulfil my promise. But Ray will be there if you open your eyes. I know he will take better care for you than I ever did, and I know that you will live a happy life with him. I'll guard you from up there, but you're better off without me."_

A small kiss was placed on her forehead as the stroking in her hair stopped.

"_I love you."_

She didn't know how fast it happened or how it happened. But all of the sudden the veil lifted and she was once again greeted with the white sterile room of the hospital. Snatching off all the wires from her body she looked at the exit.

Kai had already gone.


	13. Stolen

Chapter 13

Finding Kai's room empty, Ray was out of the house and in the car in less than a minute. There was only one place Kai would go to, and that was the hospital. Ray was sure of the fact that he would want to see Faith one last time before…, oh god he hoped he was wrong. Kai had always been tough, to the point of inhuman. But then again, the last couple of days had given Ray a whole new look on the blue-haired Russian. It had all been an act, and Kai was indeed vulnerable enough now to actually consider suicide.

Ray had seen it coming, but he had hoped that as Faith recovered, so would Kai. But Faith ending up in ICU had been the last blow for him to handle it seemed. He should have helped his team captain get through it, but he was at a loss how. He needed to make sure that Kai would live long enough for him to help and that meant getting to the hospital and fast. He had never parked in reverse as fast as he had done now. And he hurried to the room Faith was in. but for a second time that day, and a third this week, he found the room empty. Ray fell down on his knees. This was as much confusing as it was frightening. Kai gone, Faith gone. Had he lost them both to death? Had Kai gone crazy and taken Faith with him in his madness? He didn't know and he had no idea where to look for them next.

#-# Faith's POV #-#

I open my eyes for the first time since, I don't even know. But it's been a while, I can tell. My eyes feel heavy and droopy, even though I slept for at least a day. Well, if you can call it sleep at least. I feel wires on my arms and legs, everywhere actually, and all I think of is getting them off me. It takes me three hauls but I'm finally free. My hand travels to the place where Kai's lips touched my forehead moments ago. It feels so warm compared to the rest of my body. But I can't see him anywhere in the room. He's gone, but I can still feel him, I think. I don't know if I'm still dreaming or not, but I just know that he's not gone, yet.

I need to talk to him, let him know that I'm alright. Let him know that I care deeply for him and that I am certainly not better off without him. Oh hell, what am I thinking; I'm not even sure if he even said it. But my heart is telling me to shut up and move. Once I'm out of the bed I nearly fall down. Perhaps I'm not as steady as I want to be. And apparently there's nothing that can pass for a shoe either. After a few steps I also realise that wearing a silly hospital gown that shows more than you want it to show.

But I have to continue. If everything wasn't a dream, then Kai is seriously down and he needs a hand. I can't let him down now. But where to go. My gut says the roof, but my head keeps telling me that I'm hallucinating. I follow my heart to the roof anyway. Putting on my coat that was left behind I take the elevator to the top floor and the remaining flight of stairs two steps at a time.

The door to the roof is open wide and I see Kai's blue head near the edge. Before my mind even registers doing anything I cry out his name. How can my voice sound so desperate? He turns around surprised. Why did I scream like that? It seemed like something from the pit of my stomach just bubbled up and burst. I needed to stop him, and by screaming I achieved that goal. My legs start moving towards Kai in a fast pace, though I nearly keel over a few times. Flying in his arms I pull him away from the edge in the process, away from the sudden drop. I just bury my head in his chest, fighting against the tears, though I don't know why I'm crying. It could be the hard rooftop piercing the soles of my feet, or pain from exhaustion, or just the fact that I hate heights and I'm scared to death. But it's none of that. No, this fear comes from a lot deeper. This pain comes from my soul. I saw the chance of losing Kai and I couldn't have that. I need him.

Even though he's still shocked he hugs me and comforts me. Oh god, his warm embrace is welcome. I'm cold. I love the way his hands pet my head like that, even though my hair must be greasy and uncombed as hell. I could just stay like this forever. If it wasn't for the fact that we were 23 floors up and I was dressed in a hospital gown and a simple jacket.

#-# Kai's POV #-#

So, here I am, 23rd floor and all ready to say goodbye. I know this is the way of the coward, but I can't handle it anymore. Seeing Faith getting worse by the day. I should have done this a lot earlier. I look over the edge the first time. Wow, this is indeed high. Maybe I should've taken a few floors lower. I do get why a lot of people are scared of heights now though. This is kind of scary. I'm ready to put my first foot on the edge when I hear someone screaming my name. A familiar voice, a female voice. But it can't be. She is in a coma 12 floors down. I turn around, wanting to make sure that it isn't my mind playing tricks on me.

But as I turn I see her standing there in the doorway, her face etched in fear. Come to think of it, her voice had been so scared as well. But why is she scared? Why do I even care if she's scared? She's awake, and I can't believe it. I must be losing my mind. I don't know what's happening but all of a sudden I'm pulled away from the edge with Faith holding on to me for dear life. Her body is tense and her grip almost lethal. Almost. As if she doesn't want to let go of me. She's cold. Why is she still cold?

I realise now that my eyes are closed. My mind was telling me that this was all a dream and that it wouldn't go away if they stayed closed. But I open them and I still see her holding me. Clothed in her summer coat and a green hospital gown, my scarf around her neck, blowing in the wind. No wonder she's so cold. Before I can stop myself my arms move around her, so I can warm and soothe her.

"Sorry" I say softly as my hand strokes messy locks of blue hair. For some reason it sounded like the only right thing to say. But when she finally looks up at me, I regret saying anything at all.

"Why?"

I didn't know how one simple question could be such a difficult one to explain. Before it all seemed to make sense as to why I should leave this world, but now, with her in my arms I question my own actions. How could I have even thought about leaving her behind?

"It seemed like the only thing left for me to do. I was going to lose you. And I didn't want to live here without you. You were dying, and it was my fault."

"If I was dying, then how come I'm standing right here? How can you say that it was the only thing left for you to do? You could have waited until I woke up, or just watch over me. There are millions of other things you could have done. And for the millionth time, it wasn't your fault."

For some reason I feel myself getting angry. But I don't want that to happen, I can't risk hurting her again and I move towards the edge. I really wish she wouldn't have to see this, but it is the only way.

"How can you say that? You were in a bloody coma because I had to go and be a drug addict. You are better off without me, and there's only one way for you to be rid of me permanently."

But she's not letting me go; instead she's standing right in front of me on the edge of the roof.

What the hell is she doing? Is she out of her frickin mind? I know just as well as her that she is terrified of heights.

"Faith, move."

She lowers her head and refuses. While shaking her head her gaze turns to me. It's full of sadness and fright.

"No Kai. I'm not going to let you do this, at least not alone. Don't you get it yet? If you die, I die with you. Maybe not physically, but mentally. If you are going to go through with this, I'm going with you. There's nothing for me here if you are gone anyway, Kai. You are the last thing that keeps me alive."

That settles it, she has gone crackers. She needs me just as much as a fly needs bug spray. She would be fine without me. And I'm sure as hell not going to let her jump.

"Fai…"

"I mean it Kai, you jump, I jump."

The fear is pushed back in her eyes as anger replaces it. So she's not kidding after all. I lunge for her as she takes a one step closer to the edge. I grab her hands and pull her backwards with all my might. We fall over, with her landing on top of me. Now that she's away from the edge all the determination, anger and fear drain from her eyes. All that's left is some emotion that I don't recognize. But it makes her look beautiful. For the first time I see her eyes sparkling with something other than tears. It really livens up her pale face. Those eyes, that cute little nose, that beautiful mouth, the messy locks that frame her face as she lies above me. It's like the perfect picture and I can't resist.

Before I even realise what I'm doing I close my eyes and the distance between us. I'm breaking every rule ever written in the friend's codebook, but nothing has ever felt this right.


	14. I hate not knowing

Chapter 14

#-#Faith POV#-#

"I mean it Kai, you jump, I jump."

Doesn't he understand? I need him. Alive. But he's so stuck in his own reasoning that he doesn't see what's right in front of him. Well if he won't take my word, I'll need to prove it. I close my eyes and take one step backwards. My heel is already over the floor. Fear is taking over my body but I will against it. I can't be scared now.

Then I feel a tug on my arms and gravity taking hold of me. I open my eyes just to see Kai and me falling forward. I land on top of him and I feel relieved. He finally got it. My heart and soul are swimming around in joy, a feeling I haven't felt in ages, not in this magnitude anyway. I see him looking at me and I feel a blush creeping towards my cheeks. He has never looked at me like that before. Why is he looking at me like that?

But my mind shuts up as he closes the distance and I feel his lips on mine. He's kissing me. He's kissing me, oh my god he's kissing me! And I'm doing nothing, I'm just sitting there. And then my reflexes kick in. I close my eyes and kiss back. He's so soft, so gentle and yet so desperate. But just as I start to kiss back he pulls away and looks at me scared. The same scared look he gave me after the fight.  
I feel my face change into a confused look. I don't understand. What was wrong?

"I'm sorry."

Sorry? Sorry for what? For kissing me? How could he be sorry for that? I thought he loved me. And then my common sense painfully reminds me that I don't even know if he said it. Pain fills my heart and I stare at the ground. Maybe he never did say it, maybe he doesn't love me after all, and he just wants to keep things as they were. I understand. Hey, he's got hundreds of girls lying at his feet. Silly me, thinking that he could care for me more than a friend. Silly, silly Faith.

He grabs my arms and looks in my eyes. God, I hope he can't see the watery look. But I see him looking at me full of grief. What is he so sad about?

#-#Normal POV#-#

It was only after Faith kissed him back that Kai fully realised what he was doing, and that he shouldn't be doing it. He didn't have the right to do so. He pulls away and his heart breaks at the confusing look she sends his way. Oh how he wished that he could do something to take that look away. But he had made the promise of never hurting her again. He couldn't kill himself, not after she had told him that she needed him. She nearly died to prove that to him. But he wouldn't go any closer than friends. It would all go back to the way it was. At least that's what he told himself to soothe the ache that had nested deep in his soul. Not that it helped.

He sees her look sadden as she seems to understand. His heart breaks even further. He realises that by trying to protect her from harm he had only hurt her more. He sighs and grabs her arms. It wasn't because he didn't want her. He'd be lying if he said he didn't, but he couldn't have her. He gently forces her to look in his eyes. He sees the disappointment and sadness in there and feels like hitting himself for hurting her again.

"You deserve so much more than me."

She shakes her head violently and lunges forward to kiss him again. Before he can stop it he leans into it. But then he pushes her back.

"No, please no Faith. I don't deserve you; I'll never deserve you, not after what I've done to you. Promise me you'll become happy with someone else and only think of me as a friend. I can't make you happy, the only thing I've ever done is make you sad."

His determined look makes her agree. Even though she felt like ripping someone's throat just to feel better. How could he think that he didn't deserve her?

He lets her go, offers a hand to help her up and puts one of her arms around his shoulders once he notices that she wasn't entirely fit yet.

"We have to forget this ever happened…no one can ever know about this."

She nodded though she knew full well that she would never be able to forget this. They descend the stairs, back to her room, where they see Ray with two fistfuls of sheet and softly crying.

"Hey Ray, who died?" Faith asks as Kai places her on the chair. The look on Ray's face was priceless. Disbelief shone through his entire face as he looks at her through his tears. He then goes towards her and pulls her into a hug.

"Oh god Faith, you're awake. You're alive. I thought you were dead. I came here and you were gone, I thought you were. I didn't want to believe it. When did you wake up?"

"I don't know. I wasn't exactly looking at the clock. I was wandering around when Kai found me and brought me back here."

Then Ray realised Kai was standing right next to the chair. He quickly straightens up and looks half pissed, half happy. He comes within an inch of Kai's face and for the first time Kai fears the look in his face. He can't help but cower a little.

"You, don't you EVER do that to me again. You nearly gave me a heart attack man. Don't you ever, ever write shit like that again."

And then he pulled the Russian into a bear hug. He was relieved that he hadn't lost two of his friends. That they were still alive and healthy. Kai peals the way too happy Ray away from him.

"I'm going to get a doctor, Ray; can you put Faith into the bed again? She's still a little cold."

Without ever waiting for permission Ray grabbed the girl and put her in the hospital bed gently. He couldn't care less if she smacked him, he was just happy to have her back. But she didn't seem too happy. He had seen that same hint of sadness in Kai's eyes. As he was pulling up her covers he asked her.

"Faith, is everything alright?"

Obviously distracted she looked up at Ray surprised and then quickly put a smile on her face.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm fine, just a little out of it. How long was I asleep anyway?"

He could see that something was amiss, not because her smile looked fake, but just because of the sake that she was smiling. Something happened between her and Kai, he was sure of it

"If you ever want to talk about it, Faith, I'm always there for you, you know that right?"

She nodded and then repeated the question of how long she had been asleep.

"About a week I think. You weren't just sleeping, you were in a coma. We nearly lost you."

She sees his face sadden again, his eyes just a little red from the crying he had done before they came back.

"What do you mean you almost lost me?"

"You had a heart attack the first night. If the nurses hadn't gotten here so soon you would've died. I don't know what I would've done if they had been too late."

"You and me both" came a voice from behind him. Kai had returned with the doctor. He checked her up and asked standard questions like do you feel this, follow my finger… except for one thing.

"Do you know anything about your near death experience? It would be nice if you did, some unanswered questions answered, you know. What is there beyond the veil? Is there really a white light at the end of the tunnel?"

She thought about what she had seen when she was in a coma. And she realised that if she ever told anyone they'd think she was ready for the nuthouse, she even thought she was ready for one when she remembered it all. She shook her head, but Kai could see that she was hiding something. He was the only one who could see anything in her eyes of course. Ray had a feeling she was, but not about the 'behind the veil' thing.

"Ah, too bad. I guess we'll all have to wait till death comes for us to know. Well Miss Faith, you seem to be in order. No visible consequences from heart attack or coma. Impressive but I'd like to keep you here for another day though, just to make sure that you're 100 alright."

Her eyes widened.

"No way, last time you said that I was here for a week. I'm not going to spend another minute in this hospital."

And she stepped out of the bed, only to fall forward. She had underestimated the strength of her legs again. She didn't fall on the floor though, but straight into the rescuing arms of Kai Hiwatari. Before she had even fully fallen into him she pushed herself up, fighting against the tears that felt like coming again. He didn't want her, so she wouldn't make it any harder for either of them. They both tried their hardest to ignore the warm fuzzy feeling they got when they touched. The doctor sighed as he saw her fall. There was no way that he was going to be able to convince the girl to stay, even if it was only to regain her strength. So he signed the release papers on one condition.

"Alright, but you are not walking out of here, at least not for the next two days. And if you refuse the wheelchair then I'll make sure that you come here at least once a day for check up."

She paled and grudgingly agreed to be seated in the wheelchair. Cursing it to hell and back again as a lot of people stared at them. As they exited the doors she made a move to stand when she felt 2 pairs of hands push her back down.

"I can walk you know…I'm not a cripple."

"You heard what the doctor said. No walking for two days, he said you're not strong enough yet. Besides, why not enjoy the rare moment you'll have 5 guys waiting you on hand and foot?"

She glared at Ray; she definitely didn't want that happening. She could take care of herself, and hated being treated like she was helpless.

So when Ray opened the door and helped her out of the chair she slapped him hard and smirked as he touched his cheek gingerly.

"Still think I'm not strong enough?"

Kai grinned when he heard the slap. But he took the wheelchair quickly and put it in the trunk. He knew better than to treat her like she was some china doll and Ray will learn it the hard way. He could just tell him of course…but this way was much more fun. She was batting away at Ray's hands when Kai's face emerged from the trunk again. She didn't look to happy.

"Ray, I swear I'm going to break your hands if you don't STOP helping me. I'm fine!"

Her look quickly changed as Kai poked his head in the car next to Ray's.

"He's only executing the doctor's order you know. You could be a little nicer to him at least."

She felt like she had been burned by a hot iron. This was the first time Kai had ever used that tone against her. That cold, reprimanding and mocking tone. Before her heart welled up again she crossed her arms and put her head down. She felt like throwing up. Kai hadn't missed the puppy look and he stopped himself before he apologized. He had to do this; otherwise she'd never get the fact that there were other guys that liked her. He hated having to be mean to her, but if it was the only way, it was the only way.

In the meanwhile Ray frowned at Kai. Had he just pointed the finger at Faith? No, couldn't be, he hadn't heard right. Then he saw the look on Faith's face just before she looked down. He had heart right.

He closed the door and felt Kai's forehead. The slate-haired jerked away.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Checking if you don't have a fever."

"What for?"

Ray sighed. There was definitely something wrong between those two.

"Never mind. This is one of those 'ask me and I'll slap you'- situation again isn't it? No thank you, I already had one."

He touched his cheek as to prove his point. It was already starting to swell and her handprint was very visible on it.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You're giving Faith the cold shoulder dude; I mean you just defended me against her. You never do that. What happened?"

"Nothing happened. And shouldn't you be happy? She's yours now; I won't be there between you and her anymore."

Without another word he opened the door and slammed it shut.

"Owkey…this is not going to be a fun ride."

He groaned and stepped in the door. He really wished he could have some distraction right now, but he didn't dare to turn on music. Kai seemed too pissed off for a happy tune, and Faith too depressed or moping. Oh how he loved to sit in the middle of the situation and be the innocent victim.

…noooooooooooooot


	15. Soothing treatment

Chapter 15

After Ray had been driving for about five minutes he made a slow reach for the radio. Switching it on, he put it on a low volume and a neutral station. Neither Faith nor Kai reacted. Looking at the girl through his rear view mirror he saw that her eyes were closed. He guessed she was trying to control her feelings and keep them hidden from the rest of the world. Her eyes would probably be purple, or brown. During the course of the years in which Faith had lost control over her eye colour, he had learned to read various colours and hence, emotions. When she was sad for example, her eyes were purple, when she was mad they'd be amber and when she was confused or worried, they'd be brown. Even if he couldn't see the colour of her eyes, he knew her feelings by the way her entire form was hunched.

He snuck a glance at Kai, who seemed to be dozing of or pretending to not care at all. Pretending was the right word. Because even though Faith's eyes were a dead giveaway for her emotions, Kai was a lot easier to read. Something was bothering him and he seemed to be frustrated. Ray's first guess was that it had something to do with Faith, but even a blind bat could've seen it. What Ray wouldn't give to know what had happened now. Whatever it was, it had to have been something awful. Kai had never ever been so distant or mean towards Faith.

When Ray realised he was driving on the wrong side of the road he decided to stop thinking about the tension in the car and give all his attention to driving safely. Kai in the meanwhile was trying to take a nap to take his mind of the blue haired in the back of the car. He knew her long enough to know she was feeling utterly miserable.

_Don't worry, it'll pass, she'll be smiling again in no time. _His mind tried to shoo the bad feeling away. His heart knew better though

_You're an idiot, do you know that_

_-What did you say?-_

_I said you're an idiot. What makes you an expert on feelings all of a sudden? You love her, she loves you and you want to tell her off so she'd go running to some one that will never understand her? What are you trying to do?_

_-I'm trying to do what is best for the both of us-_

_The hell you are_

And with that his heart stopped arguing and went back to emitting a dull pain that wouldn't go away. Kai didn't understand why it was so hard to accept it. It was better for every one if Faith would be with someone else. It would save her from a lot of misery.

They had finally arrived at the house. Without a word Kai got out of the car and entered the house. Both Ray and Faith looked at the door, but she just sighed and got out as well. Well she was going to before Ray stopped her.

"You know what the doctor said. And by the way he's acting; it wouldn't be wise to egg him on."

"I do know what the doctor said, but I don't think he'd care anymore whether or not I use the wheelchair."

"But I do, and like it or not, you're not walking."

Even though Ray was always a kind soul, he could be determined if he wanted to, and right now he didn't want Faith to get worse. Her reaction had shocked him, and it was also confirming the idea that it had been something awful.

When she had grudgingly agreed to sit in the wheelchair Ray stopped her from wheeling away.

"Faith, what happened when you were gone?"

"Nothing."

The look on her face said otherwise, but it also said that if Ray pressed on the matter he would be sorry. Maybe he should let it rest, at least until they had cooled off a little.

Inside the rest of the team was waiting in the living room. Max looked worried when he noticed the wheelchair.

"What happened? We saw Kai come by and say you were coming home, but he didn't mention anything about permanent damage? Do you need anything?"

"It's not permanent; she'll be out of it as soon as she regains her strength."

Faith had so many things she wanted to yell to Ray, but as soon as she opened her mouth, Kai's face in the car came back to her. She closed her mouth and pushed herself out of the living room.

"I'm going to take a shower."

"What? You can't do that."

"Excuse me? If you're offering to help then no thank you, I'd rather keep the little dignity and pride I have left."

"No I meant you can't have a shower, I'll ready a bath for you."

"Ray, no."

"I'm going to fill the bathtub and get you upstairs and that's final."

He expected a lot more arguing, but none came. Faith just lowered her head and said nothing, even though her eyes were clearly turning amber. Ray wasn't used to her acting this way and he didn't like it either, what happened to her spirit?

"Ray, you go and get the bath ready, me and Tyson will bring her upstairs."

"I can do it myself."

It was a low mutter, which was hardly heard by anyone. Max started to notice Faith's change of attitude as well. He had never seen Faith this way. Sure, she had been timid around Kai before, but totally submissive to anyone? She seemed broken, snapped out of her usual self. Maybe it was just the shock from having to sit in a wheelchair. Then again, normally Kai would've been in Ray's place, worrying and fussing over her more than he would ever dare to admit. Would something? No, couldn't be, nothing could ever go wrong between those two. Must have been the chair. He understood why she was fighting the pampering so much. It wasn't permanent, and she's always so independent. Having people suddenly waiting her on hand and foot is unnerving to say the least. Not to mention it must give her the feeling like she can't do anything alone anymore.

"Put your arm around my shoulder. I'll just be here as an extra leg ok?"

A grateful smile. He wasn't treating her like she was useless. If only they knew what had happened before Kai had helped her back to the hospital room. That she had run two flights of stairs, would they still think of her as this helpless? At least Max seemed to understand a little. He always understood what people were going through, and always knew exactly what to do. Max was the backbone of the team and of the group of friends. God knows how many times he acted as a buffer when things went bad. She felt that she could trust him. Maybe it was just the blond hair. But all in all he was a caring, sweet and sensitive boy. She still remembered thinking only one thing when Max had told her that he had a boyfriend. _–I hope he treats him right, he deserves no less.- _

Once in the bathroom she got the first good look of herself since the whole drama had happened. Looking in the mirror she noticed Kai's scarf was still around her neck. Feeling a sting in her heart she pulled it off and tossed it aside. Then she looked at it doubtingly, picked it up, folded it and put it on the cabinet. Kai probably wanted it back. Only then she registered how hard Kai had grabbed her exactly one week ago. Her entire neck was still showing very violently coloured bruises. It didn't hurt much, so it looked a lot worse than it was. Lucky they were nearing winter so she could wear a scarf without getting strange looks. She couldn't bear to look at the bruises any longer, the memory of what had caused it too fresh in her mind. She turned away from the mirror and saw the bathtub filled with what was probably nice, warm and cleansing water. Making sure the door was locked she undressed and let her body welcome the soothing water.

On the other side of the door Ray was keeping watch. If he heard any strange noise he would be in that bathroom in seconds. Kai passed him by in the hallway, still looking slightly bothered by something.

"You don't happen to know what happened to my door, do you?"

"Well euh, heh. I was worried about you. I kind of rammed it to be fast. I'll pay for it I swear."

"Don't bother; only thing that needs fixing is the lock and the frame."

He was about to continue downstairs when he realised that Ray was standing in front of the bathroom door.

"Why are you standing here?"

"Faith needed a shower. I'm standing here in case something happens."

"You let her take a shower? You know she's not supposed to stand on her legs very long."

Anger in his voice. He was still worried about Faith then. But why was he so indifferent towards her? Ray groaned inwards. He really should stop trying to figure them out. It was giving him headaches.

"Relax man, I prepared a bath for her, I'm not an idiot you know. I care for her unlike you."

"I care for her too."

"Nice way of showing it."

"I told you why Kon, I'm not going to tell you again."

And exit the great twit, Ray thought to himself as the Russian stormed of to his room instead of downstairs like he had originally planned.

A soft knock came from the bathroom door, followed by Faith's voice.

"Ray, could you go into my room and get some fresh clothes, please?"

Five minutes later Ray poked his hand into the bathroom with said items. After that Faith exited the bathroom, obediently sitting in the wheelchair. She strolled to her room and sat at the desk containing her computer. What was happening? It was all so confusing. That strange dream, the kiss, Kai's decision. Was she still dreaming? She saw Max poking his head in the door, concern on his face as he noticed the bruises. Ray had looked exactly the same way. She hated that look. Max seemed to realise this as he showed the brush in his hand and smiled at her slightly.

"Want me to comb your hair?"

"There's nothing wrong with my arms you know."

"I know, but I still want to do it. May I?"

She nodded and he sat behind her on the bed once she had shifted seats. He slowly began working out tangles and made sure that he was as gentle as possible. He figured it would help soothe her mind a little; it always helped him when he was feeling blue. And it appeared that he was right. The soothing strokes of the soft brush through her hair let her emotions go. By the end of his combing she had put her hands in front of her eyes and softly started crying.

Even though it was rude to say, but to see Faith cry was something magical. It was like seeing a baby kitten open its eyes for the first time. She never cried, not in front of them anyway. It was like he finally got to see the real Faith. Or part of it at least. Whatever had happened, it had been bad. And even if he never found out what, Max would be there for her.


	16. Time to let your heart speak

Chapter 16

He continued to brush her hair, even though she was crying. That way she still had some form of privacy so she wouldn't have to hold back her emotions. Once the brushing was over he put a hand on her shoulder and saw her looking at him. She had a small but sad smile on her face.

"Thank you."

He told her it was not a problem. After wishing her strength and luck he left her sitting on the bed. He had his hand on the doorknob when she called out his name.

"I don't wish to bother you, but do you know if we have any scarves in the house? I can't exactly go out looking like this."

She motioned towards the bruises on her neck and he had to agree that it would attract a lot of attention and suspicion. He nodded and told her to put on a turtleneck and come with him. They needed to get some shopping done anyway; they could just as well go for a scarf too.

She was going to sit in the wheelchair again when he stopped her. There was no need to attract any major attention to them. He knew Ray would yell at him when they got back, but he handed Faith a walking cane.

"Now, walk with this, and if you feel that you can't continue tell me, and we'll stop ok?"

She looked at him in disbelief. She hadn't expected Max to ever break any rules. But he just smiled at her and said that they didn't need any attention. Because even though the Bladebreakers were famous, only Ray and Kai seemed to have a lot of difficulty with the press. They usually left the rest of the team alone, or maybe had one or two reporters monitoring from a distance. Max and Faith were free to go and do the shopping.

It was what Faith needed. A little bit of normality after the chaotic events that had happened. Max gave her just that feeling right now. Like the world had once again found its inner peace. Her health was not a key issue, like it was with Ray, or she was no longer ignored, like Kai was favouring lately. No, Max and she were equal, talking about whatever she had missed in the week of her absence like she had gone on a holiday. After an hour of getting all the necessary groceries and her new item of clothing, she started to feel tiredness in her legs. She should tell Max. But telling him meant they would be going home again, to that absurd reality that had developed ever since the accident.

Max had noticed the discomfort in her face and quickly ended the shopping, got the groceries in the car and left for home again. They had only just closed the front door when Ray stormed at them.

"Faith, are you nuts? Going out without the chair? You could've gotten hurt; or worsened your condition. What were you thinking?"

"Ray, it was my idea ok? I needed to do some shopping and Faith needed the fresh air. How do you think the lone reporter would've reacted if he saw us exit with that blunt thing? We would've been swamped with reporters in 5 minutes."

Ray said no more and Faith returned to her room, making a stop at Kai's room to leave his white scarf by his door. After that she laid down on her bed, not feeling well at all. Why couldn't everything go back to normal? Why couldn't they stop treating her like she was a cripple? Her night was far from peaceful.

And it didn't improve over the next few days. She hadn't been sleeping well at all, and because of that neither did any of the Bladebreakers. Kai slept least of all, he heard her cries when she thought everyone asleep, they all heard her screams when nightmares consumed her. He knew he was the cause of all her suffering and he couldn't comfort her. It would only confuse the both of them. All he ever did was hurt her. He turned around in his bed a lot, hoping for sleep and to black out the visions of Faith screaming and crying, feeling alone and miserable. But his heart wouldn't let him forget. And the others wouldn't let Faith forget what had happened not long ago.

Though she had officially been transferred to a walking stick by the doctor, Ray still fussed over her well being too much, and Kai had gotten even worse towards her. She couldn't move, couldn't talk nor think without getting a scowl from the Russian. It had gotten to her so badly that after the hundredth comment from him during training she reacted.

"Do you mind if I breathe?"

"Yes, but you need to do that to live, so I'll have to bear with it."

The room went silent as the last word left Kai's mouth. Everyone's attention was fixed on Faith. She didn't need to say anything. Her expression said more than enough. Her mouth was slightly open from shock, eyes wide and after the message sank through, tearing lightly.

She wished she could storm out of the room. But her walking cane and pride got in the way of that. So she slowly stood up and without another word left the training room with her head high in the air, even though she wanted nothing more than to collapse on the ground and cry. She would not show weakness.

In the training room four faces were looking at Kai with disgust and anger. Only one of them walked up to him and slapped him on the face.

"What is the matter with you? Wasn't nearly strangling her enough? You need to kick her while she's down too? I can't believe you. I thought you cared for her. If that's caring then I'd hate to see you hating someone." he practically yelled and stormed off towards the door.

"Max, leave this room and you'll have to catch up lost training triple tomorrow."

Standing in the doorframe Max looked at Kai with a glare that matched his.

"I don't care. She needs me even more than you need a heart right now."

Kai had never expected such harsh words coming from Max, but then again he hadn't expected himself to be so harsh either. Max was right, his heart reminded him, not that he heard it. He had learned to ignore it for a while now. But it had been hard to treat the crestfallen look of Faith like it didn't affect him at all. He knew that everything that they had had was blown up. Maybe she could now forget about him. Now at least she could go on with her life. He had succeeded, but it hurt more than he had expected.

After training, Ray decided that Kai's behaviour had gone way beyond tolerable and cornered the Russian. He had had enough of him being an ass towards Faith; he had seen enough of her decreasing mood. And he certainly had enough of the tension and the secret that caused it. He was going to get his answers and he was going to get them NOW. He cornered Kai in the training room with a look on his face that meant business.

"Ok mister, spill."

One floor up Max had entered Faith's room finding her in a heap on the bed, shoulders shocking lightly. He put a hand on her shoulder, slightly shushing her, telling her it's alright. He knew it was far from alright, but he couldn't think of much else to say. And he knew even less when she spoke.

"I gave up everything for him, Max. I gave up my family, my happiness. But now I wonder if he was worth coming back for."

She didn't look at him, she didn't dare.

"Coming back from where?"

"Death…"

Hearing him ask how that was possible she told everything to Max, from falling asleep in the hospital to the darkness, the meadow, to the kiss on the roof and the consequences. She didn't know how Max would react. He would probably think she was insane, but she didn't care, she needed to tell someone, to make someone understand. No one could get through this alone.  
But Max didn't think she was nuts. He believed her as well as he could, even though it was a lot to swallow, and he also promised her that he wouldn't tell a soul. It had cleared up so much, one of the biggest being why Kai had become so mean.

In the training room, conversation was not going so great.

"So you were on the roof and she saves your ass. Sounds like you should be grateful instead of a first rate prick. Something else happened Kai, and you're not telling. Tell me."

"Why are you so interested? Faith is yours for the taking."

"Because I want to know why she's so upset. And you had something to do with it now tell me, WHAT DID YOU DO?"

"I KISSED HER ALRIGHT?"

Ray let go of Kai's shirt and took a few steps back, like Kai had just breathed flames.

"You what?"

"Want it in writing or something? I kissed her."

"Then, why are you acting like she's the scum of the earth? You two should be all over each other."

"Because it's not right."

"Says who?"

"Me, you, hordes of fans."

"The fans say it because they don't know you; I say it because I'm jealous. Jealous of what you and she have. There are tons of people who want that kind of connection, including me. Why do you want to destroy that?"

"Because it's not right? We're not meant to be!"

Ray felt his anger rising. He had been mistaken by thinking that Kai was an intelligent person. He truly was as dense as Tyson was.

"That's bull Kai, and you know it. There is nothing more right than the two of you together. I spent years trying to ignore the fact, but it's true. You two are meant for each other."

"All I do is hurt her. She deserves better."

"Why do you hurt her? Let's see, you go nuts because you're in rehab, then you want to kill yourself, and after she saves your ass and you kiss her and then you treat her like dirt. Don't you see that you only hurt her by pushing her away from you?"

"How would you know?"

"Because she's done so much for you. She forgives you after you try to kill her. She woke up from a coma for you; she even stood on the edge of the 23d floor to stop you from killing yourself. And she would still do so much more for you. What more proof do you need? How I know? Because I see the way your behaviour influences hers. She's probably crying her eyes out right now because she doesn't understand why you act like this. Why don't you allow yourself to love her back Kai? Don't you think you owe yourself and her that much?"

Kai said nothing for a while, letting Ray's speech sink in, mulling over every word. He had a point. Kai had always known that he was doing wrong, but his mind always made him do otherwise.

"I thought she would be better off with you."

Ray sighed. He had forgotten that the Russian always let his feelings come last.

"It doesn't matter what you think, what matters is how you feel and what you feel for her. Are you happy treating her like this? Does it make you feel happy?"

"…no."

"Then how do you feel?"

_-I hate myself, I feel like I want to throw up, my heart aches even trying to think of her-_

"Terrible"

"I'd gamble everything I have on the guess that she feels even worse. She loves you, you love her. Get the hint? The only thing that stops the two of you being together is your mind. And though I hate to admit it, she will never be better off with me. You two have a connection that I can never offer her."

Kai ran a hand through his hair. He never expected so much wisdom to come from Ray's mouth. Must be his Asian roots. But it seemed like it was all too late.

"We had a connection. After everything I've done, I'd be surprised if there's anything left."

"Would she be this affected if she hated you? Like I said Kai, the two of you have something that nothing can break. She's just confused. All the pushing and pulling has gotten too much. It's time you finally let your heart speak Kai. I don't like this tension; I don't like to see Faith sad. It hurts my soul seeing those orbs be purple all the time."

Kai didn't get to voice his agreement as Max poked his head in the room looking surprised to see the two still sitting in there.

"Oh hey, I thought Tyson had let the lights on again, I'm sorry, I'll go."

The Russian stopped him though. With a look of deep concern that Max hadn't seen in weeks Kai asked him how Faith was.

"She's a little upset, but sleeping now. The poor thing cried herself asleep. The both of you need to act normal to her again. That's what's upsetting her the most."

Ray didn't understand when he had acted abnormal towards Faith, but agreed nonetheless. After the talk he had, maybe Kai would finally see the truth. And then they could all have peaceful nights again. He didn't know how much Max' statement influenced Kai to seriously rethink his actions.


	17. I really love you

Chapter 17

#-# Kai Pov #-#

I can't sleep. Every time I close my eyes I see her face. That beautiful face twisted in the utmost form of pain: betrayal. It contrasts so sharply to the memory of her on the roof. Where her eyes sparkled so, I have put tears ready to come out. Max thinks she's like this because Ray and I treat her differently, though I'm sure he knows more. Something in his look reprimands me and scolds me for what I did. I don't blame him, nor her for confiding in the kind blonde. Keeping everything secret was harder than I thought. Even I told someone, though not entirely willingly. Ray, my biggest enemy when it came to faith, forced me to confess what I did. I expected him to hit me for hurting her, hit me for being stupid. But he did none of those. He gave me advice. That's another thing that troubles me. After all those years of freedom I'm still not used to not being punished for my actions. I guess that was also why my mind reasoned the way I did. If I pushed her away, no one would get hurt.

How wrong I was.

I feel the dull ache in my chest droning on, reminding me of how much it needs to be soothed. Faith stopped smiling, and the blue colour in her eyes has become a rare feature. It's only brown or purple anymore. And it's my entire fault. Ray still thinks she's just confused, and if I clear it all up it will all be ok. He doesn't know that I have done so much more to confuse her. Back in the convent all we had was each other. Losing Tala was a terrible blow for us, more for her since she had no one for a long time. And now, hearing me say that terrible thing to her was ultimate betrayal. We had vowed to fight for each other, and I have been neglecting her for weeks.

Max and Ray say it's not too late, but I hear her cries at night and I know it's my fault. I can only hope that they are right, and that we can start over. She might never see me the same way as before, but as long as she will no longer look at me in pain and fear, I will be happy. I broke the bridges between us because I thought it the only way to stop me from feeling this way about her. But it only got worse. All I wish to do now is go into her room and soothe her, tell her I'm sorry. Then why don't I? Because she will no longer accept me as a friend, I'm sure of that. She'll hide her emotions behind those jade eyes and tell me everything's all right, just like she always tells the others.

I glance at the clock: almost 2 a.m. I should really try to get some sleep. But my eyes won't close. Knowing that I'll see that pain again, knowing that her cries will be clearer in my mind as soon as I tune out my vision. Even though the crying has stopped, it continues in my mind. She might seem tough and unnerved, but in reality she is one of the most tender beings alive. She gets hurt so easily. After all she went through in her youth she has very little reserve left to deal with situations like this. I didn't need the shrink Max' mom hired to tell me that. I just knew.

Soft wails now reach my ears. She's having another nightmare. It wouldn't take long now before she would wake up screaming. It happened so many times before. All the others are vast asleep; they are hardly bothered by her pain. I hear the first scream. This one frightens me; she never cries this scared before. Another follows and another. Why hasn't she woken up yet? After 30 seconds I can't stand it any longer. I must see her; I have to know what's wrong. Not caring to throw on a bathrobe I storm into her room. The bed is a mess, she's tangled in the sheets, squirming like she's being beaten, throwing her fists on the bed. One of them has been constantly hitting the edge of the wooden frame, and I see droplets of blood falling down the bed. Her face is etched in a mix of emotions that makes me want to look away. She can't wake up; she's trapped in the dream and can't get out.

I take hold of her wrists and start shushing her, hoping my voice will reach into the nightmare. But to no avail. She starts trashing harder, kicking and screaming. Footsteps behind me and I see Ray with a look of worry that is probably mirrored on my own face. He asks me what is going on, but what can I answer? I don't even know myself. All I know is that she is in pain and there is nothing I can do to help her. No, that can't be, there must be something. I try to find anything useful in my mind. Holding, waking techniques, little facts I remember of what to do in this kind of situation. But there are none. Well, there is one thing, but I'm not sure it works. I ask Ray to hold her down for a second as I manoeuvre myself to the headboard. Then I take her in my arms, forcing her to stop trashing. I put my cheek next to hers, close my eyes, and slightly rocking the both of us, I start humming an old song.

I remember very little of the way it went, but the trashing lessens. Ray looks at me with a quirked eyebrow. He comments half joking half wondering how he never heard me sing before. "It's a lullaby she used to hum in the convent when any of us used to feel really bad. It used to soothe us." I answer, adding that technically I'm only humming. Kai Hiwatari doesn't sing. His only reply is that it's working. Soon she relaxes in my arms and the pain etches away from her face, which is now void of any emotions. It's a dreamless sleep, but at least she's not having nightmares either.

I softly stroke her cheek one last time after Ray and I successfully put her back in the bed under untangled sheets. After that we leave, and I see him looking at me strangely again as I close the door as soft as possible.

"What?"

"What more proof do you need than this to know that you and she belong together?"

And with that he went back into his own room. Leaving me alone in the hallway, knowing full well that he was right.  
I ended up sleeping for a few hours that night. Soft hazy sleeps, on standby in case Faith would have another nightmare. I would never leave her alone again, even if she hates me now or not. At breakfast it seems like only me and Faith look like we had a rough night. I see that she hasn't noticed the wound on her hand yet and realise that Max had.

"Faith, are you alright? How'd you get that?"

She looks at her hand confused.

"I had a bad dream last night that's all. Don't worry."

"Is something else the matter?"

She glances in my direction for a second, uncertain. She knows, she may not remember it, but she knows that I was in her room last night.

"Well…when I was having the nightmare, it all kind of faded away when I heard this humming. It was so strange."

"What kind of humming?"

For some reason I can feel myself getting embarrassed and I quickly hide it by looking down to eat. From underneath my bangs I see her looking at me again, still uncertain, but scared too. A wave of pain goes right through my heart. She's scared I'll lash out at her.

"An old lullaby. My mom used to sing it to me and my brother, and I used it ever since to calm my nerves."

With no response coming from my side I see her relax a little. That is, until Tyson makes his loud entry of the day, moaning about how they shouldn't have to train this early in the morning. Having that topic struck Max asks me when he has to catch up his triple punishment from yesterday. I shake my head.

"You don't have to, I crossed the line and I shouldn't have said that," I say, looking at Faith, hoping she'll get the message as well. "In fact there's no training today for anyone."

Tyson then asks me if he can have that in writing and after a quick glare from my side, goes back to bed. I don't really know what the rest are doing; all I can focus on is Faith. She still seems so scared, not looking at me. With the most pleading voice my pride will allow I ask her if I could speak to her in private. She doubts, fearing the consequences if she says no, but fearing even more what will happen if she says yes. But after seeing the reassuring smile from Max she follows me to the training room. In there I offer her a seat while I stay as far away as my heart allows me too. It feels strange letting my heart decide, but since my mind ruined so much, it's for the best that I don't listen to it for a while.

"Faith, there are no words to come even close to how much I hurt you and I'm sorry. I know you will probably never forgive me for what I've done, but I'm hoping you will want to start over."  
She's not looking at me, mulling over what I said and not answering. I take one step closer and she moves one back, chair and all. I drop onto my knees and try to look her in the eye. It's hard since we're pretty far apart, but I can still catch her briefly.

"I know that you find it hard to trust me right now. I don't blame you, after all I haven't done much to earn your trust lately, but I swear to you that I'm sorry. I thought…I thought…" my voice breaks and I can feel tears threatening to fall. I had never thought I had hurt her so deeply. "I thought it was for the best if I pushed you further from me, that you could move on and be happy. That I could forget how much I really care about you. I thought that this way I could forget how much I loved you but…but …but, it didn't, it only broke my heart to see you getting hurt by me again. I'm so sorry Faith, I really love you, I swear, but I just couldn't allow myself to admit it, but I don't care anymore, all I care about is seeing you smile and be happy again. And I'll do anything for that. Even if it means disappearing from your life forever Faith. I'd do everything, just to see you smile again. Just tell me what I need to do"

I can't go on; the tears are choking my voice. I can feel them running down my cheeks, dropping on the floor. Not a word is spoken and I can't bear to look at her. This silence seems to last for so long. I feel warmth spread on my shoulder. Looking up through my tears I see Faith bending over me, looking at me with those green eyes I detest so much. But she's touching me again and I take her hand and put it against my cheek. Still not looking away from her face I notice she starts to pull me up to my feet. Still with her hand on my cheek she says one simple line before releasing that neutral green from her eyes.

"I don't need to, you just did it."

All shades of blue are in her eyes and I feel so overjoyed that I pull her into a hug, lifting her off the ground. Putting her back down I whisper thank you in her ear. For forgiving me, for accepting me, for wanting to try again.


	18. Facing the press

Chapter 18

It had been over a month ago since the world had been turned upside down. Slowly everything had gotten back to its normal routine. Except perhaps for the way Kai and Faith interacted with one another. They could be seen in a comforting hug in front of the television, or Kai would give her a quick kiss when they passed each other in the hallway. Faith, though inexperienced in the field of relationships, eased quickly in the new situation. She had never felt this happy in ages. Even her nightmares stayed away.

But maybe the fact that she now slept in the same bed as Kai had more to do with that. She loved to lie there in his arms, in his sheltering embrace. To just put her head on his chest and fall asleep on the steady rhythm of his heart beat. And waking up at the sight of Kai smiling in his sleep, where otherwise his face seemed to be so void. To trace figures on his chest as she felt him stirring. As he awoke, his eyelids would flutter and his eyes would seem like vibrant rubies, he'd look up at her and smile again, but this time at her. Then he'd take her in his arms and kiss her once before getting out of bed.

She loved to wake up like that. Even though Kai was usually the one waking up first, like today. He normally snuck out of bed to get ready and leave her snoozing for a few extra minutes, but this time she woke up just as he was about to get out.

"Mhm…Kai?" she asked groggily, not really sure if she was still asleep or not. Blinking a blur approached her and pulled up the covers. He gave her a light kiss on the cheek, told her to sleep a little longer while he went for breakfast. By the time he got back she was already dressed and downstairs, setting the table.

"You never listen do you?"

"I was already awake; you know I can't fall asleep once I wake up."

He smiled, it didn't really matter. She would've woken up soon anyway, part of the old Biovolt routine they couldn't get rid of. She was going to sit next to Kai, and yelped as he tugged on her arm and pulled her on his lap. There he embraced her and placed small kisses on her neck. She blushed slightly at this open display of affection. Then again, nobody was awake yet. He nuzzled her neck and yawned a little. He was feeling in peace with himself. He looked puzzled as a piece of toast started hovering in front of his nose. Then he saw a hand attached to it and the owner of said hand smiling at him. Playfully grabbing the piece of toast with his mouth and taking a bite as he took the toast in his own hand, he leaned her in closer for a kiss. He wished he could just be with her like this every second of the day, but the press was still lurking, and their team mates hadn't gotten used to them yet.

He could still picture their faces when they kissed for the first time in front of them perfectly. In fact it was kind of like they were looking now.

"We've talked about this Kai, not in public."

"If you don't like it then go away." Kai grumbled, but still allowed Faith off his lap. Life couldn't get any better than this; she thought happily as she took a seat next to Kai, amused by the way Tyson reacted to Kai's response. She wondered why the blader was up so early, why they were all up this early in fact, when she took a glance at the calendar that hung on the kitchen wall. Oh, right, today would be the long postponed press conference. The smile disappeared from her face. The reason they had actually planned to go through with this was because Kai had decided to confess his former addiction, and that Faith and him were together. She didn't wish to attend, but Hilary and Kenny had forced her into it, since she was a part of the Bladebreakers, she was part of the conference.

They had arrived at the building and were immediately guided to the awaiting journalists. Most of the team looked calm and at ease, but Faith was truly discomforted. She didn't dare look at the cameras or the journalists, afraid that she might do something strange and have it blown up in an article. Not that they wouldn't have enough once the conference was over. She felt a warm hand over hers underneath the protection of the tablecloth. She didn't look at Kai, but as he squeezed her hand she smiled a little. She wasn't alone.

"Members of the press, the Bladebreakers will now inform you of anything you need to know. If there are any questions, please hold onto them until the end of their speech."

Faith listened with a half ear to all the things the Bladebreakers were planning, what their strategy was in the coming tournament, nothing she didn't know yet. But when Kai spoke, she was all ears. He spoke, with a strict face, his eyes gazing at the crowd and his voice steady. She noticed the room went quieter with every word he said. For months had they been lurking near their home, just outside the court order limit, waiting for a scoop. And yet so many things had happened right underneath their noses.

He told them of his addiction, of how his team had helped him going through the rough period in his life and how he thankfully had gotten rid of the nasty habit. He even told them why Faith had gone to the hospital, of her cardiac arrest and her coma. At that point she felt stares at her and she wanted nothing more than to run away. But the hand still clutching hers as he continued gave her the courage to stay. As whispering started to engage between the journalists, Kai empowered his voice a little, commanding silence once more as he came to the last part of his confession.

It wasn't just that he and Faith were together. He told them that he had long been ignorant of his feelings, sticking them away because he was afraid. And that it had nearly cost a life to realise how much that person meant to him. He announced that after years of misinformation and denial of the heart that the newspapers could finally print the truth for once of how deep the relationship between the two went. Some of the female journalists swiped away a tear at that confession, but quickly turned back into hardened news scoopers as the question hour was announced.

Not surprisingly, nobody cared about the plans of the team; all questions were directed to Kai and Faith.

"So, what you're basically saying is that first you had to almost kill her to find out you love her. Is that how you usually show your emotions?"

"Faith, what's it like being together with a man that can't hold his temper?"

"Do you have any remaining injuries?"

"How can you love him when he's tried to kill you?"

The whole team defended Kai. Saying that the struggles had only been because of the effects of rehab. And that since he had been clean, he had been peaceful and calm. But the storm of questions was so great that Faith threatened to snap under pressure. Not only were people accusing them, there were also journalists who wanted proof after being misled so many times. He could see her hunching, putting her hands in her hair and closing her eyes.

He was whispering words of comfort in her ear, but it was to no avail, she was blocking out the voices and the cameras were all focussed on the two of them. Seeing her eyes close even tighter, Kai had enough. He stood up, said loud and clear that the session was over and took Faith with him away from the bright lights and constant voices. In the hallway he sat her down and took her in his arms.

"It's ok, it's over, they're gone and you're alright."

Grabbing Kai's shoulders she broke down. She hated the press; they were vultures, every single one of them. They did nothing but tear everything apart until there was nothing left but a rotting carcass. And because of all the stress, her nightmares came back.

As they all had expected, everything had been blown up in newspapers. Headlines went from 'Kai Hiwatari: perfect addict' to 'Bladebreaker quarrel ends in coma'. There were a few newspapers that actually mentioned the relationship following the series of events, but it was barely a paragraph out of an entire page. The only thing that seemed to be most truthful were the newscasts who broadcasted live footage from Kai's speech. The following days their mailboxes were littered with fan and hate mail. Fans expressing their support for Faith, telling Kai that he's a rotten asshole and he deserves to die. And then there were those who hated Faith because she had stolen their dream boy. But most of the letters were for Kai, congratulating on the successful rehab, or for finally letting his heart decide.

They didn't need to fear bad publicity, they lost fans yes, but for every fan they lost, they gained two more, because the story Kai told proved the world one thing. They were only mortal after all. Magazine after magazine had called for an exclusive with Faith and Kai. They begged, pleaded and even bribed them, but to no avail. They answered the same thing to every caller. Unless your reporter can write the entire story truthfully, you are not expected to call again. They never did. One day they did get a phone call from a very peculiar reporter. He apologized for the rubbish his magazine had published about them and asked if he could follow the entire bladebraker team on one day and write a story about it. Even though they usually knew better, they accepted, since this man sounded honest.

The man's name was James, and on the entire day he had a camera with him, as a later reference. What they didn't know was as he was shown around the house the day before; he had dropped one or two mini cameras in the house. Every moment Kai and Faith spent alone in the kitchen was recorded, and so was every moment in the living room. The entire day he noted down a lot, making it hard for the Bladebreakers to act normal. The scribbling sound of the pen was a bit unnerving, but James had a respect for privacy. Meaning he wouldn't be waiting at the toilet door just to hear you flush.

They got the published article in the mail 3 days later. They had feared the outcome, but it had been the nicest article anyone had written about them in days. Even though a lot of the photos were not remembered to be recorded. They had again survived as a whole, and faced the tournament with a relaxed heart. And slowly, but steadily got used to the fact that there was a big chance to see Faith and Kai making out in the kitchen if they entered it.


	19. Watching movies has its perks

Warning, bit of mature content…hardly worth mentioning, but better safe than sorry.

Chapter 19

Another ordinary day. The tournament had passed with the known result. The Bladebreakers had won. It had become such a common knowledge that the papers hardly found it worth mentioning on the front page anymore. Something else had stolen the headline. Seeing as Kai had been clean for so long, it didn't quite get the reaction they had hoped for, so they turned to the relationship he had with Faith. If they hadn't had the restraining order they would have been swamped with reporters.

It seemed the article James had written was more effective on the reporters than anything else. A fellow journalist had actually written something nice, so they could do nothing but follow in his steps. But the Bladebreakers had made it absolutely clear that he had been the only exception to the rule. No other reporters would ever be allowed inside their house. So they were doomed to be on the lookout with their long distance lenses forever.

Kai and Faith were currently residing in the kitchen. They were always in there for the good of the team really. Because even though the rest had stopped gawking, they were still visibly discomforted by the open display of affection. The kitchen had provided a good compromise. It provided the needed privacy and yet they weren't out of reach in case one of the others needed them. It also kept Tyson out of the fridge.

Right now she was cutting up some vegetables with Max. The boy was only remotely bothered by their new behaviour. Plus he had this sudden craving for fresh made soup. And Faith was the only one of the team who could cook, besides him. The rest couldn't even be trusted with a knife. Well, except for Kai, but he clearly stated that he would never be caught dead in the brightly coloured apron Max had given him. So he sat at the kitchen table, watching Faith's back as she rhythmically moved her knife to cut up the carrots.

He craved to do so much more than watch. He wanted to feel that soft skin move underneath his hands, to inhale her scent as he rested his head on her shoulder. But Faith was wielding a knife, so it might be dangerous if he sneaked up on her. Then again, he had never tried, and she knew he was in the room, right?

With a devilish smile on his lips he stood up and moved towards Faith. One hand snaked around her waist, and the other covered the one she was using to hold the vegetable. She stopped for a second or two, the only evidence that she had even noticed him. That wouldn't do. He laid his head on her shoulder and slowly caressed her stomach through the fabric of her shirt. Her cutting slowed, her face became more concentrated.  
"Kai…"

He didn't miss the warning tone she had used, but he didn't care. He was moping over the fact she was still cutting up vegetables. He wanted her undivided attention. Max and his soup could wait. The blonde had been called out of the kitchen anyway, they were all alone now.

His hand slipped under her shirt and he started tracing circles on the soft skin of her stomach as he started nipping her neck. Her breath hitched and she closed her eyes for a second. He smiled, worked every time. It had been enough of a distraction, and she forgot was she was doing. But not for long as a sharp pain registered in her brain.

"Fuck!"

He stopped his actions to see why she had shouted out. Looking at the counter he could see a few drops of blood. He then looked at Faith, who had one finger in her mouth.

"I'm sorry."

Since her mouth was occupied with soothing the pain in her finger she shook her head, signalling it was ok. Walking to the table he grabbed the first aid kit and tended to the wound.

"It's not that deep." He mentioned as the band-aid was in place. "I'm so sorry."

"I'll live. But please, don't ever do that again. It's hard enough to focus with you watching me, and impossible when you're so close."

He felt pride enter his system, liking to hear that he had such an effect on her. He was about to kiss her when Max spoke.

"The guys are going to rent a few movies, you have any suggestions?"

"How to get rid of mood killers without going to jail sounds good."

"Euh, I'll just tell them you let me pick for you."

A minute later he was back, interrupting yet again.

"They say it's your turn to go pick them up."

Max gulped visibly at the glare Kai shot in his direction. He didn't want to know what could've happened if Faith hadn't spoken.

"Ok, we'll do it. The reporters need a sign of life anyway, plus I could use the fresh air."

Faith smiled as they walked out of the door, earning a frown from Kai.

"You got to hand it to them, they have incredible timing."

The video store wasn't that far, they were soon looking for the movies. Not surprisingly Max had opted for yet another tearjerker, Tyson for hardcore action and Ray was no better. When they were looking through the Disney section for the one Max had chosen in their place, Kai noticed two guys checking Faith out.

He felt like ripping their eyes out, but controlled himself enough to pull Faith in a protective hug and kiss her passionately. The two were nowhere to be found afterwards and Kai smiled gleefully. Once she had both feet on the ground again, Faith looked at him questioningly, but he just smiled. She was his and only his; nobody would ever change that, not if he could help it. Back at the house she handed Max the movies and hoped that it wasn't going to be yet another romance. Kai wasn't really paying attention to anything as Faith sat in front of him, comfortably leaning back into his embrace. Watching movies had its perks.

Once Max' first movie had been over he gulped and blinked a few times. Kai Hiwatari would not cry over some silly movie. He looked at the rest; Ray was in no better state than him. Tyson was just huffing, saying how it was a stupid chick movie, getting popcorn and pillows thrown at his head for the comment. Max was surrounded by tissues, blowing his nose loudly. Faith wasn't making a sound, but he could see tears rolling down her cheeks. She would never admit doing it, but she was touched by the movie. Even though she hardly ever acted like it, she was still only a girl.

The mood changed after the second movie, and they had all gotten tired of them after the third. Ray declared that it was now his choice and, after taking a glance at the title, Faith went to bed. Kai desperately wanted to follow, but he was stopped by the two action lovers, saying that it was time for some testosterone and explosions.

He didn't really like the genre, but stayed to humour them. He knew why Faith couldn't stomach the genre. They both had seen more than enough violence in their youth, and to see it pictured on screen so simple, heroic and without consequences made her throw up. He was watching the screen, but his mind wasn't seeing the movie. He was thinking of what he would find once he got in his room.

He would open the door and find long legs tangled in sheets. A half dozing girl attached to those legs, her lips slightly parted, top buttons of his shirt, though she looked so much better in it, undone. He loved to crawl next to her, to caress those satin legs from ankle to hip, slowly untangling the sheets. To undo the rest of her buttons and slightly part the shirt. He would look at her, pale skin reflecting in the moonlight. Then he would kiss said skin; caress it, knowing that she was no longer dozing. He loved to feel her hands on his face as she moved it towards hers. Those half-lidded eyes darkened by lust, feeling those lips on his, to hear her moan as his hand kept travelling further down her body.

It never took much for him to be all over her. He would lose himself in passion as he made love to her. The action itself was simple, but with her, it seemed like watching an artwork. No matter how many times you saw it, you would always discover something new. She would lie on his chest, listening to his heartbeat as they dozed off, not caring if anyone had heard.

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Ok, I read this story like 3 times over so if there are any big spelling mistakes I'm gonna kick myself.

Note: In case your mailbox has been swamped with updating letters, I want to apologise and it's because I got out the worst mistakes out of both 'How we came to be' and 'Chosen by shadow'. I'm not saying they're spotless now, but at least the biggest mistakes are out. Took me bout a whole week-end…I really need to learn how to reread my stuff properly.

Secondly, this is not the mature content…it's very hinted, at least I think so, but not what I had in mind

Thirdly, sorry for the late update, but my sis had a baby :D. So I spent about a week with her in the hosp. I just couldn't stop looking at the little fella, he's so cute . I actually got to hold him… And he immediately pooped his diaper --.

Thx to all the reviewers: Angel, frozen-mittenz, My-Crimson-Tears, ash, HeartlessDevil, Fire Pheonix2, Ai Kumiko Amaya, Elisa7692, Keneko-Hiruka, sickofme and spazzydevil…I think I have them all. You guys are great :D

Read, review, flame….hey, it's your mouse pointer


	20. A life more perfect

Chapter 20

Kai was lying in the hammock, trailing his fingers through the hair of the dozing girl on his chest. He smiled as he felt his own eyelids close. Today was a warm and pleasant one, and they had all decided to eat outside. Max was making dinner and Ray, Tyson, Kenny and Hilary were playing games. Kai and Faith had been lying in the hammock since lunch, to catch up on last nights sleep. Kai didn't know what time it was and he didn't care either. He had Faith in his arms, he was happy and that was all that mattered.

"Pass me the ketchup!" Tyson yelled and Kai hn'd.

He guessed that signalled dinner, whilst Faith slowly stirred from her place on his chest. He smiled at her sleepy expression and kissed her on the cheek. Her sleepy face was just adorable.

After dinner the group had started their games again, or in Tyson's case, the cheating. Kai thought the rest knew better than to let Tyson sit so close to the bank at Monopoly. When the sun was setting, they were still arguing the fact that he couldn't have over 10000 since he didn't own a single street. Faith had left the game a long time ago, watching the sun and the environment. The soft colours of the sky made the whole place look magical. And Kai's arms sliding around her waist made it all even better. She let herself lean into him, putting one hand onto his.

"Beautiful isn't it? I don't think our lives could get anymore perfect than this." She said contentedly, closing her eyes and just enjoying the moment.

"I know one thing…"

She turned her head a little, looking at him with one eye.

"What?"

He didn't answer, but kept staring at the setting sun. She hadn't noticed the tense silence behind her as she kept her focus on Kai. She glared a little as he started to trace circles on her shirt, trying to distract her from the subject.

"Well? Are you going to tell me?"

"Maybe later."

The next moment she felt his lips on hers. But she didn't give into the temptation. If she budged now, she'd never know. Not to mention he made her curious. Turning around so she could fully face him, she stared at him.

"Not this time Kai Hiwatari…I want to know."

She briefly caught max' gaze behind Kai's head and frowned at the anticipation visible.

"It would be more perfect, if you'd be mine…"

She smiled, and stroked his hair. She then took his hand and put it on her heart.

"Silly, I am yours."

"No, if you'd really be mine."

She frowned. He had her more than utterly confused right now. He left his hand on her heart as his other one fumbled in his pockets. He pulled out a small box and presented it to her. Her eyes went from the box to his face several times and her frown deepened.

"Open it."

Obeying she opened the small box, revealing a simple silver ring. The band had two parts, both being wings with the ends pointing towards each other. Without realising it a tear made its way to the corner of her eye. She looked at him as he spoke.

"Faith Delare. Will you be mine in heart, soul and law?"

She blinked a few times, reality slowly entering her mind. Tears were coming and she didn't even know why. She looked at the ring again, now fully understanding the meaning of the present. She said nothing for a while, trying to grasp this event. It took her several more blinks before she could finally answer.

"Yes."

She had never seen such a vast expression of joy on her lovers face as he took the ring out of the box and slipped it on her finger. As he took her in his arms and kissed her passionately cheers erupted behind them.

It didn't take long for the news and tabloids to find out since they had informed them personally. For several days the headlines were about nothing else than the engagement. The wedding was to be held in December, and Max had taken it upon himself to fully arrange it. It nearly caused Faith to be married in a bright pink dress. But they were able to persuade him to let Faith pick, since it was her dress. Once December came, they could all feel their nerves rising. This event was more exiting than any championship they ever played in.

There was a knock on the door just as Hilary was going to put on her veil. Ray came in and gaped as he saw her standing there. Mariah, a girl Max had chosen to be one of the bridesmaids reminded him he was here for a reason.

"Shouldn't you be helping Kai?"

"Yeah, I was wondering if any of you have seen him. He's not in the dressing room."

"Oh, he's probably just taking a walk. It's not every day he gets married you know."

But Faith noticed the look in Ray's eyes and evaded the veil before it got attached to her head.

"I'll help you look."

"But Faith, you're not supposed to see the groom…"

"That's just superstition. Besides, if Ray's worried, something's got to be fishy."

They encountered Max on their way and it seemed like Kai had indeed mysteriously vanished.

#-# Kai POV #-#

Ray keeps touching his tie, trying to straighten it out, even though it's not even crooked. But that doesn't really bother me, the constant tapping of his foot on the other hand, does. You'd think that as the groom, I'd be a lot more stressed than he was. But then again, all I have to do is say my vows and I do at the right moment, and the rest of the time I can just stare at the beautiful eyes of my soon to be wife. I wonder how many colours I'll see in them. Or maybe they'll be a new colour.

But with Ray's constant tapping I can't even imagine what Faith will look like.

"Ray, could you PLEASE stop doing that, or take a walk? You're making me nervous."

"I'm sorry it's just that…"

"Look, there are guards everywhere, so no worries about the security, the rings are still in your pocket. What are you worried about?"

"I don't know, stress I think. I've never been the best man before. I don't know if I have to say anything to you or if I'm doing it right."

"Look Ray, you're doing fine for as far as I know. Now go take a walk before I throttle you."

Once he's gone I look at myself in the mirror. I have to admit Max has a good taste. I wonder what kind of dress Faith picked. Max has been teasing me for weeks now, saying my jaw will drop to the ground and such. It's been irritating me, but I hope she hasn't given in to his request of a frilly bight pink dress. She's beautiful, but if she wears that, I'd have to scratch my eyes out before I go blind.

As the hour of the wedding draws near I start to feel a little jittery. Maybe I should take a walk, calm my nerves a bit. I've paced through about three quarters of the building when a door opens and I'm pulled inside. And there I see a face I hoped I'd never see again.

"What are you doing here?"

"Why, I came to see your wedding of course. I was deeply saddened when I didn't get an invitation. But I assume it got lost in the mail."

"You're not invited. And neither is he."

I glare at Boris, standing next to Voltaire, my grandfather. Even though he has done more than enough to me to make me doubt that there is even a blood relation between us. I'd rather be the devils son than his grandchild. But he ignores my comment, though his look hardens

"Finally getting married, my boy. Your father would be proud."

"You have no right to talk about my father."

"I have every right to; he was the fruit of my loins you see."

"How did you get past security?"

"I can be very persuasive you know. Besides, who could ever refuse an old man to see the marriage of his only grandson?"

"I can."

The tension has grown so strong in the room that I wonder why it's not suffocating me. Of all the things that could ruin the one of the happiest moments of my life, it had to be him. I still don't know how he got past security, but seeing the smirk on Boris' face, a few options come to mind. My mind registers a door opening and I can't help but look at its direction.

Max was right; my jaw did fall to the ground. But not just because of the way she looks. It's also out of fear. What would happen to her? I can't risk losing her again. She's standing in the doorframe, looking at me worriedly. It doesn't match the rest of her outfit, she should look happy. Ray and Max are standing in the doorway, with similar looks on their faces. Their eyes travel through the room and land on Voltaire and Boris. I can see her eyes widen in horror as the man smiles at her. If it hadn't been for Max and Ray standing behind her, she would have taken several steps backward.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the lovely bride. Come to see if he didn't run away, did you? Don't worry; I wouldn't let him get away."

"Leave old man, you are not wanted here."

"I'm afraid I can't, Kai. For you see, I made a promise to myself."

"What?"

"That no one ever escapes Biovolt to live happily ever after."

I can see the sun reflecting on the barrel of a gun as Boris pulls it from under his cloak. It all seems to go so slow, yet too fast for me to move. My heart and mind are screaming. No! Why now; after all these years. Why do they have to take away everything I hold so dear?

But I soon realise Faith wasn't the target of Boris' gun.

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IMPORTANT note: This story will have 2 (that's right!) endings. One of them I had in my mind since the beginning of the story, and the other when I neared the end. But it can go so many, many ways. But I will not say anything except this: only the title of said ending will hint how the story will end…nothing else.

Having this said, it means that this is the last chapter before the ending! (Wipes forehead) I've been trying to figure out how to write this for the past two weeks, couldn't get the right beginning.

On a side note: I design clothes as a hobby. It took me 3 hours to spiff this one up in macromedia fireworks

http: slash slash uk.pg.photos dot yahoo dot com /ph/ plaisir underscore melissa Just replace the slashes,dots and underscores, and click the album called dresses. You can't miss it, it's the only dress in the album, for now :p

It's a converted jpeg, meaning the edges are a lot harder than intended. The dress was not specifically designed for Faith, but I think it suits her rather well.

Thx to Angel, gliitch and spazzydevil for the reviews. Hope you liked this chapter.

Read, review, flame…it's your choice.


	21. I came back for you

I came back for you (ending 1 of 2)

"No!" Faith screams as Kai's face turns to shock for a second, and then slumps to the floor. Seeing Boris take another aim, Ray launches himself for the older man, while Max runs for the security. Faith rushes towards Kai, but is stopped as Voltaire roughly grabs her, forcing his cane against her throat, immobilizing her and cutting her breath short. She couldn't do much but watch as her lover did not move from the ground, a dark stain spreading over his vest. She needed to be with him! She needed him! She resisted, kicking and screaming, but he wouldn't let go.

"I told you, nobody gets a happy ending."

Security arrived and both men were forced to surrender. Though Voltaire had attempted to bargain with Faith's life, as he still had her in a vulnerable position. Seeing as he was surrounded by security, he quickly gave up his attempts and released her. As fast as she could she kneeled near Kai, not noticing the blood now ruining her dress. His eyes were still stuck on that shocked expression. She put pressure on the wound, tears streaming down her cheeks as she hoped to bring life back into her lover.

"Please, please don't do this to me."

Medics arrived and they took Faith away from his body, needing the space to do whatever they could. They didn't notice the bloodied wedding dress, nor the fact that this man was the groom. All they noticed was a man in need and roughly shoved the girl out of the way, not caring if the man was her lover. Max grabbed her and she clung onto him for dear life as the paramedics did everything they could to save his life. Everyone was guided outside the room. Ten minutes later one of the doctors came out, and the look on his face said more than a thousand words.

Faith shook her head, crying. She fell to her knees, holding her stomach. She had never felt this sick; it was like her stomach wanted to burst out of her body. No words of comfort were given to her by the paramedics as the stretcher passed them by, Kai's lifeless body on it. Max tried to say something, anything to her, but he could think of nothing. The whole situation was just too unreal. She sat like that for an hour, Max by her side. She had stopped crying, but was still on her knees on that cold hard floor. The guests were long gone, and the world was already grieving.

But Faith was numb to the world. She just sat there, not moving, not blinking, and hardly breathing. She didn't respond to Max' grip on her arm, nor did she move when Ray picked her up. She didn't even move when he put her down onto the bed, just staying into the position Ray put her in. She wasn't far from what people would call catatonic, and there was nothing the Bladebreakers could do to ease her grief, as they were hurting as well.

They sat in the living room defeated, feeling a hole in their hearts. What were they supposed to do now? Kai had been their team leader, their guide, their friend. And now he was gone so suddenly. Ray and Max had even watched him die. They sat in that room for several hours; no one made a move to talk. They needed some time to think. It was not until the next noon that Max had decided to check up on Faith. She was still lying in the same position as yesterday, and taking a look at her face he noted that she probably hadn't slept. He even wondered if she had blinked since the whole thing had happened. His own eyes were red and swollen with tears. If he already felt such loss for their team captain, he didn't know and would never know how badly Faith was suffering.

He had brought her food, but when he came back one hour later, the plate was untouched, and Faith still hadn't moved. Sitting next to her he put a hand on her shoulder. She didn't budge.

"Faith?"

No response.

"Faith, you have to eat at least something…"

Still no response. Max sighed and tried to coax her into eating, but after half an hour he would've been happy if she even looked at him. All she did was stare at the wall. Ray came in and saw the distressed look on Max' face.

"Give her time…"

"But she's not eating. She hasn't even moved. She might need our help."

"Just give her time; she's had quite the shock."

Max wanted to stay with the girl, but Ray talked him out of it, saying it wouldn't help if he was there. Truth be told, the Asian was at a loss himself. Their friend was dead, Faith was in shock and the rest of the team was in a severe state of grief. It was up to him to take responsibility and he hated it. How was he supposed to keep this team on the right track without Kai? He had been the responsible one, Ray was just the advisor.

Two days passed and the Bladebreakers were assigned to arrange everything for the funeral. Since the rest didn't offer much help, Ray set to arrange things on his own. Max was with Faith again, and she still hadn't moved or eaten. If this went on much longer she would end up in a hospital. Max didn't understand, where was the psychological help? Wasn't there supposed to be someone helping them get over losses like this? He didn't know what to do. All he knew was talking, and that didn't seem to work. Bit he never stopped trying.

"I can't imagine how hurt you must be right now. You and Kai had been through so much hardship. Yet you survived every last one of them, and now he is taken from you like that."

He was so caught up in his own monologue that he didn't notice Faith's eyes looking at him shortly before gazing at the wall again.

"I don't think anyone will ever understand how you feel. I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost Oliver, but we are nowhere near as close as you and Kai were. I wish I could feel your pain, share the load, but for that I need you to talk to me. It worries me to see you like this Faith; I don't want to loose another friend so fast."

Max put his head in his hands and started crying again. He had already lost one, and if Faith did not snap out of her state, he would lose her too.

"He was all I had left."

His head snapped up, looking at the girl who still had her eyes fixed on the wall.

"What did you say?"

"He was all I had left."

"You have us…"

"It's not the same."

She said no more after that. But she could now be coaxed to eat, though the amounts of food were barely enough to keep her alive. A week had passed since Kai's death and Faith's body was objecting to the constant pressure on one side of it. She was still dressed in the wedding gown, Kai's blood stained all over it. Her hands were covered in his blood, but she didn't even notice it, she hadn't even looked in the mirror since it had happened. It was time for them to go to Russia, to attend to the burial. It was only by the teamed efforts of Ray and Max that they got Faith out of her dress and into something else.

At the funeral reality was thrown in her face, as the coffin that held Kai's body stood in front of her. Unable to walk herself, she was wheeled by Max towards it. She spoke one more thing when she saw Kai's face in the open coffin, but only the ones that spoke Russian could understand her.

'I came back for you…why couldn't you do the same for me?"

The tears she shed at that moment had been the first sign of emotion in a week.

It took Russia's best psychologists three years to get Faith to talk and move again. It took them another year for her to do it on a regular basis. Once they saw her fit enough, one of her nurses brought her to Kai's grave once a week, where he would help her tend to his grave. It had surprised him the first time when she tended another one as well, but ceased all questions when he realised the other one belonged to a friend she had lost long ago.

She spoke to the headstone sometimes, and her nurse, though pretending not to, listened to her conversations. It might help her along if he found something important. But she never talked much about her past. More about how their old team-mates were doing. Of how Kenny had started going out with a girl called Emily, or how Max had moved in with Oliver after a lot of pushing from the green haired, and how Tyson had become a food critic. The topic today was Ray. He had moved back to Asia shortly after the funeral. She clutched the piece of paper in her hands. She had been invited to his wedding Besides Max, Ray had been the only one who checked up on her from time to time. The rest found it too painful to talk to her. She couldn't blame them, she was still getting over it herself. She looked at the invitation…_and friend…_.

"There's only one person I'd want to take with me, but sadly you're not here anymore. Time stops for no one, even though I seem to have tried stopping it. Every one moved on, even me. I miss you, Kai, but I'm sure that I'll see you again. I believe that you are out there, waiting for me, together with my family and Tala. And when we meet again Kai, time _will_ stop, if only for a second. I just hope I don't have to keep you waiting for too long. Watch over me, my guarding angels."

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Well, that is the first ending. I hope there will actually be people reading this :s, but that's the risk with posting two endings.

I hope you liked reading this as much as I liked writing it.

This is truly the end. I can't believe it, a story I've worked on for so long….is finally over.

Read and review, I would appreciate it for this last chapter, but nobody can force your hand to that button but yourself.


	22. The paths we chose

The paths we chose (Ending 2 of 2)

"Kai!" Faith screams as she sees him staggering backwards, slumping to the floor a moment later. As she runs for her lover, Boris takes another aim. Ray launches himself at the older man, redirecting the course of the bullet towards the ceiling, where it's lodged firmly in place. Instead of running Voltaire grabs Faith, pulling her up from where she was kneeled next to Kai.

"I told you, no one gets a happy ending."

He had only just said that when security arrived, taking him and Boris into custody. They had already found their men dead and they could reassure Bladebreakers that these two criminals would be behind bars for a very long time.

But that could not comfort Faith as she sat next to Kai, fistfuls of his shirt in her hands, tears running down her cheeks in silence.

"Kai, please, don't go, I need you….I need you."

She prayed, pleaded and begged to every god she knew, whether it was God, Yahweh, Allah, Ganesh, Shiva, Buddha and even the devil. She didn't care as long as they brought him back. She laid her head on his chest, refusing to believe that Boris had taken away the person she had loved and cherished, again. He had won, by not taking her life; Voltaire had won, for she would never be happy alone.

"Please, Kai, please…don't leave me."

"I-I …wouldn't…dare." Was grunted somewhere to her right, and Faith could not believe it. As she looked, she could see Kai smiling weakly at her, in pain, but alive. Her eyes tearing with shocked joy she held him in a tight hug. She still couldn't believe it; he was real, alive and breathing. Nearly choking on her tears she voiced her disbelief.

"I thought you were…"

"Me too" he murmured softly. He couldn't quite grasp what had just happened. He had seen the bullet come for him, he had felt the blow on his chest, and he had blacked out from the pain. And yet, here he was, alive and well, though his ribs hurt like hell. He touched his own chest, there was no blood.

"But how? I saw Boris aiming for you, for your heart. And he never misses."

Without warning she started unbuttoning his shirt, revealing a bruise already forming on his chest where a hole should have been now. Not that Faith wasn't relieved, but right now she wanted to understand what happened, to believe that he truly wasn't going to die. Searching through the pockets of his shirt she found nothing, the bullet hadn't even gone through it. Grabbing the handkerchief out of his vest a clatter was heard on the floor. It was the bullet, its front end flattened like it had collided with something.

Unfolding the handkerchief she found nothing, but upon further inspection of his vest pocket she felt metal in it. Taking it out she found it bent and damaged. Turning it around she noted that there used to be an image on it, but the speed and heat of the bullet had deformed it. She could make out just one ice blue eye staring straight at her.

"What is that?" Kai asked, staring strangely at the thing that had caught her attention.

"Just metal. It saved you Kai, if it hadn't been there, you would've…you could've…"

He laid his hand on her cheek, thumbing away the tears that came. He kissed her lightly, making sure that they were both real and alive. It shushed her, but did not stop the tears.

"I know what could've happened Faith. But it didn't, I'm alive, and nothing is going to keep me from marrying you now."

She nodded, and they continued the wedding, after Kai was checked up by the doctor. But it was hard for the brides' maids to get Faith back to her room to finish the veil and redo the make-up. She didn't want to let go of him again. Not after being this close to losing him. In the end they managed and she was now walking down the aisle, seeing her love standing at the end of it. During the whole ceremony she kept a strong face, keeping up the appearances that nothing much had happened behind the scenes. The media and the guests were to be kept in the dark to avoid panic or gossip. But after the party and celebration, she collapsed and cried, Kai holding her, knowing exactly how she felt.

Boris was sentenced one month later, Death penalty for numerous crimes, including attempted murder. Voltaire was sentenced for life, with no available parole. The two biggest threats to Kai's future with Faith were locked away for good. Three years later Faith gave birth to twins, a girl and a boy. They moved to Russia not long after, and there Kai took over Biovolt, turning it into an orphanage and destroying any piece of evidence that might hint of his grandfather. The place changed from hell on earth to a place children might call home. They visited their friend's grave from time to time, honouring him and mourning.

It was now ten years since Tala had passed away and five since they had been married. Their son demanded attention and Kai looked at his wife doubtingly, seeing clearly that she didn't wish to leave.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, you go, I just need another moment."

As she watched Kai leave she smiled at her daughter in her arms. She started talking silently.

"Their first birthday is coming up soon. You would have loved them, Tala. And I'm sure that they would've have adored their uncle, right Zoya?"

She looked at her little girl. They had named her Zoya, meaning life, because she had been the weaker of the two during birth. But she was a fighter, just like her father. It could be seen in those fiery orbs of hers. She snuck a glance at Kai, who was currently entertaining their little boy, Mikhail, to stop him from crying. She smiled bitterly; Tala was just like Kai in many ways. He would've seemed indifferent towards them, but she knew that he would care for them more than anything in the world. He would've made a great uncle, if only he had had the chance.

"I'm sorry I couldn't save you Tala, but…"

Being careful not to hurt or drop her daughter, she kneeled before the grave, taking out the piece of metal she had cherished for over five years. Kissing it, she put it upon the grave. A tear went down her face and a little hand reached out to wipe it away. Zoya looked at her sadly with those ruby eyes she had inherited from her father. If Kai had died five years ago, if that piece of metal had not been in the pocket of Kai's vest, she would've never seen those eyes again.

"Thank you for saving him."

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There we go; second ending….I hope it was ok.

I have mixed feelings about ending this story. On one side, I'm happy it's over, but on the other I feel a bit…sad that it's over. Guess that's what happens when you put your heart into something. Or maybe I'm just being dramatic, I don't know.

I hope you all enjoyed reading this story, check out the other ending if you wish.

Read, review or flame one last time for this story.


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